Unfortunately, like many women, I also saw a never before seen selfish side to my husband when I had our first child. He came out with some of the most audaciously self centred comments, some of which completely shocked me and actually changed our marriage. I confronted him about it and he has said that he feels ashamed of some of his behaviour in the past. He's better, more mature now. Pulls his weight, shoulders his load, cooks, clean, does laundry, is a good hands on dad etc.
However, I feel that he is often standing there waiting for somebody to shine his medal, he just doesn't say it out loud anymore. My mother always told me that men are selfish by nature. At the time I thought she was incredibly sexist making such a comment when I knew my fabulous, kind, sensitive and helpful fiancé was anything but.
Turns out there is a very selfish streak in there that mostly remains buried but gets whipped out from time to time. I know it's always in there but as he gets on with his share of the work and compliements me on my share, I put it to the side, but I always know its in there, lurking beneath the surface.
The bar is set very low for men. They often think that if they aren't as useless as Dave down the road who never changed a nappy, then we need to be really excited when they do normal stuff. When the mother of their children has a new role where she is caring for a baby, recovering from childbirth or pregnant, oftentimes, men don't like not being number one any more.
Not all men.
But a lot. Mine included.