Managing self doubt/overthinking/intrusive thoughts in the early days

[FallenFigs]

Wasn’t sure if this was better placed in mental health, or here. Anyway.

Some brief context. Not long out of a 20 year relationship/marriage that was pretty dysfunctional by the end. Wasn’t especially looking for a new relationship but have met someone fun. Just getting to know each other.

I really need some tips on how to manage these early days. I am over-thinking and reading too much into literally everything and basically threaten to ruin my cool. I can think about it logically - hardly know the guy, he might not be right for me etc etc but at the same time it’s taking up an awful lot of my headspace. So much so that ruminating over things and overthinking are distracting me from work and other spectacular of my life.

He sees me as a pretty confident individual. I really need to get a grip of these feelings, as they aren’t justified and they are a massive distraction!

What can I do to calm the fuck down? A few friends know I’m dating him but I’m not exactly going to ring them and freak out about this. Would ruin my cool with them too! I’m a professional in my mid-40’s. Seriously need to get a grip.

help and advice appreciated.

Sertraline has helped me salvage my relationship.

You've not had 'to do' new relationships for a long time. Do try and be kind to yourself, it's hard getting used to anything new and you're understandably nervous because of your previous experiences. Take it one date at a time.

If it was me, I would also consider getting some supportive professional help/ counseling to work through the stress and anxiety you may still be carrying around from your previous relationship. Your new relationship does not have to be like your old one after all.

I hope it goes well.

What’s sertraline?

Good advice, @Pr1mr0se I will see if I can find a counsellor. Logically it’s ridiculous and I have tried giving myself a pep talk, keeping busy etc etc.

Poor chap. I don’t even think we’re that well suited.

@FallenFigs its for anxiety and it has been a life saver for me.