Single FTM suffering with PPD 4 weeks PP. Coparenting struggles

[LD233]

So basically I had a awful pregnancy caused by my ex who left me at 16 weeks pregnant for his ex girlfriend and got her pregnant and now is playing happy families with her whilst lying about it on and off for months. I have suffered severe emotional distress due to this and heartache and now postpartum I feel like I'm mentally drowning. I also received no support from him whilst pregnant what so ever. Now he comes over and sees our son throughout the week a couple of times and I am trying so hard to be civil for our son but I am struggling immensely emotionally and mentally thinking how much he betrayed me and abandoned me when I needed him the most. I've also been antagonised and had it completely rubbed in my face throughout by his girlfriend to the point where I didn't want to be here anymore. Now I think im experiencing PPD. I can't function properly and am calling a doctor ASAP tomorrow morning as I keep breaking down. Has anyone else experienced being hurt and trying to coparent and how to navigate this and get through it. I have so much hate and resentment towards my ex for doing this to me and rverutime he comes and leaves I have a breakdown. I don't know how to face him anymore. The past few momths he told me he finished with his ex but yesterday I yet again found out they had been together and he had been gaslighting me making me feel crazy.I'm just looking for tips on how to coparent , I never planned on being a single parent and I loved my ex alot. However since I became pregnant he shown his true colours and has completely broken me as a person. I an trying so hard to be strong for my son but I honestly feel like I'm drowning - my family are concerned which is why im seeking help tomorrow.

You poor thing believe it or not ive been in a similar situation however he didn't get her pregnant. I thought I would never get over it. He left me 12 weeks pregnant and was back with his ex. Its 3 years on and that time in my life is a distant memory I am so content in my life and love my child seeing my ex has no impact on me now however he does try to make my life difficult

Firstly is there anyone who can facilitate the visits for a couple of weeks so you can give yourself some breathing space? You need to cut all contact with him and speak only about your child. You need to engage ASAP with a counsellor and you need to see your doctor in a situation like this you might need some medication to help you through. He is gaslighting you because your engaging with him block him on all social media

Oh honey … Firstly you need to forgive yourself it is perfectly ok not to be ok. You have been betrayed and abandoned when you needed someone the most!! Breaking down and not coping is completely understandable. If baby is so little I would probably ask ex to give you some breathing space for a month or so or have someone else like your family facilitate the visits so you don’t need to seem him or hear his twisted tales.

Good I’m you for seeking help a new baby in the 4th trimester is so very very hard let alone being left and cheated on focus on baby and ignore the ex

Another mum of a newborn here up doing the night feed! Firstly, what an absolutely amazing job you are doing- looking after a new baby whilst experiencing what can only be described as a trauma (through absolutely no fault of your own!!) simultaneously! Please know that anyone put in your position would be the same- you are NOT alone. I have not been in your exact same situation, but I have experienced trauma whilst trying to look after a then 1 year old, and it was the most difficult thing I've ever had to get through. What a horrific thing he has done to you. This is not your fault- normal people don't go around making other people feel this way. As PP have said- is there any way of getting someone else to facilitate the contact between him and your DC? Right now, your focus needs to be on your welfare and your time with your baby- remember the oxygen mask analogy- you need to prioritise yourself first and your welfare to allow you to be there for your baby. Get/ take all the support you can. What an amazing mum you are. Being around him right now must be horrendous. Avoid it at all costs and focus (as best as you can) on nice experiences with your baby. Sending all my love and support your way. It might not seem like it right now, but you CAN do this!

Thank you it is so tough. My mom is going to do it and for him to see my son away from me for a while. I am struggling severely and don't want to get worse. Trying to be strong for my son x

Thank you - yes my mom is going to do it going forwards fir my mental.health x