Hi all,
Im a man looking for opinions from a ladies point of view and im not looking to blame to anyone on this post.
Im 47 and my wife is 58. We have been together about 22 years. My wife has the condition ME so suffers with bad joint pain and sometimes takes morphine for the pain she suffers which dims her sex drive. In the last few years she has also gone through the menopause too.
Before she went through the menopause we would have sex 2 or 3 times a week and most of the time id make her orgasm with my willy, if not then id use my tongue. These days the frequency has dropped to about once a month.
Doing research about the menopause so i can understand and help my wife in this changing time i found that a woman's sex drive drops or in some cases disappears. She has tried to take a few different supplements and we now eat much healthier which we hoped would help restore her sex drive but nothing seems to work.
My wife has said that she wishes her sex drive was what it used to be but obviously its not. When we do something she likes to do it before we go to bed so that her orgasm can help her sleep due to her joint pain etc which wouldn't normally be a problem but most of the time thats when im the most tired and dont have any energy. I have tried suggesting to her that we do something during the day or early evening and ive even tried to initiate things an hour so before we normally go to bed but most of the time she says no so i leave her alone and we go to sleep. I would never pressure her into doing anything as i feel its wrong and very selfish to do so.
Id like to add that i do masturbate most days which she doesnt know about because i think it would make her feel guilty into us having sex which is not what i want. Also because of the drop in the frequency that we have sex i dont last anywhere near what i used to and it makes me sad because i know that i can give her pleasure that way but i dont get the chance anymore so instead i use my tongue which works everytime.
As a said im not trying to blame anyone and want opinions please on what,if anything can be done to improve my wifes sex drive.
Im ready to be shot down in flames if anyone thinks im being selfish but thats why i wanted a womans point of view so i can better understand the situation.
Regards Mark