Hi, my STBExH has been sleeping on the sofa or in the kids bedroom. We have separated because of his gambling and alcohol issues. The house is mine. I just can't take anymore of it. He has been looking around for a place to rent for a few weeks now but nothing. He is out drinking most nights and has another friend friend's place that he stays at once or twice a week.
I have asked him to not come back drunk or to stay up drinking as its too destructive at home. He ignores this. The other night he stayed up talking to a female on speaker phone, talking absolute nonsense and very loudly. He was also saying nasty things about me and flirting with her. I had work the next day and had to go down and ask him to be quiet a few times. He was so drunk, he didn't remember the next day. No real apology.
He was out again last night. When my eldest and I came to sit on the sofa this morning, we noticed it was covered in wee. I went upstairs and asked him. He tried to blame our youngest, but I found my ex's wet jeans and underwear soaked in urine stuffed in a corner. He never got up to help clean the mess up. I told him this was unacceptable. He tried to turn the whole thing around on me. How i was enjoying seeing him suffer, how I wasn't a nice person, complete character attack. I said the behaviour wasn't acceptable but he managed to play a victim whilst being really horrible about me. I told him he couldn't stay with me anymore and if not out quietly by tonight, I would ring the police. I had previously contacted women's aid who told me I could always ring the police yo get him out if he refused. He again, just laughed and was dismissive.
I've taken the kids out and am just trying to get my energy up for later. I hope he is gone, but he is a bully. I'd like to protect the kids from anything upsetting.