Vavavoom left the room?

[Nowhoopie]

I'll start by saying that I love my partner very much, and definitely feel loved in return. Our sex life, however has definitely disappeared.

We have a teenager (mine from a previous relationship), and a 15 month old baby together.

We both work full time, my partner often 6 days a week and honestly by the time we've finished work, sorted the kids out for the evening, and done all the chores/cooking/errands that need to be done we're both absolutely shattered 😭

Since our baby was born I think we've had sex a handful of times. When we did it was great but most of the time we both go upto bed around 9pm and I'm too tired to initiate and my partner must feel the same. He's often asleep by 9.30/10pm latest.

We spent lots of quality time together as a family, my partner is very present and the division of labour is fair. He doesn't swan off to a million hobbies or to the pub every week. He is an amazing dad/partner.

We have barely any help with childcare which I don't think helps at all due to no date nights or outings without kids. Trying to be sexy with a teenager in the house instils genuine fear into me 😅 and the last time we went out without either of the children with us was December.

I'm rambling here but I guess I'm asking if this is normal? Am I delusional thinking that we're very much in love with one another even if our sex life is lacking at the moment? Is there anything that you've done which has helped you get things back on track?

Personally I do think this is normal with a small baby. If you're both on the same wave length it's okay.

Have you talked about it? You might both feel the same way about it, you might not. Things won’t magically change without one or both of you making changes, if that’s what you’d like.

If your teenager is over 14 and sensible enough, you already have a built in babysitter? Bung them a few quid if you like as encouragement, then out you go for an evening - date night.
Think back to what you used to like doing - gig, movie, dining out etc. Then do that, you might not get more sex out of it, but it will help with keeping the connection going and relieving stress.

Thanks @foxyfoxx and @AnneLovesGilbert I definitely do think we're both on the same wavelength. There's certainly no pressure from my partner but I will ask him this evening how he's feeling.

@Opentooffers this is something we've discussed doing within the next year, but it would be after we've put the youngest to bed so the teenager wouldn't be responsible for anything other than calling us if she wakes up. The only problem we've got is that by the time she's in bed (7.30ish) we feel too tired to get ready and go out 😂☠

Hopeful bump for any other thoughts?