OLD: help me decide?

[PampasAss]

Hi all
New to online dating. Made a few initial mistakes. But now regularly chatting to a whole load of men. But I can’t decide who to meet. There are quite a few options. Initially I was flattered by this, but im sure most women get this. I need to move onto next level and meet some to decide. I’ve summarised my main options. What I’d like is a relationship where we go out and have fun once a week and it develops into great sex! I’ve read advice online which says try people outside of your normal type.

Guy 1- super nice guy. His wife cheated on him. He has his girls with him 100pc. He’s arranged a v nice first date later in week. He has a sexy accent. Looks good too. But, I have kids too, so we both have very limited time. How could it work? Im after someone I can spend approx a date a week with

Guy2- funny guy. Also seems nice. Less family commitments, but still committed to his children. Im less attracted to him atm. But not met in person yet. We have got quite naughty in text messages recently: He talks a good session 🙃. I imagine we would have time to date, and do fun stuff together. He’s outgoing, which is attractive. We’re meant to meet tomorrow

Guy3- first person I started chatting to. Initially I was only interested in him. But he never made the move to actually meeting in person. So I moved on. He’s back now, and says he wants to meet. But he’s not been in a relationship for 10 years. Im not sure he’d make space for me, that we’d go on nice dates etc. he is attractive.

Guy4- younger than me. V hot. Probably just sex. But I think it’d be great sex. He lives quite far away

Guy5- older than me. Kids grown up. So time for us to do stuff together. Might be a sugar daddy type. Still attractive enough.

Guy6- I know from school. Looks hot still. We chat, but I’m not sure what his intentions are? Is he after a relationship or just sex?

What are you after? Relationship or once a week sex & dating?
Number 1 - a non-starter and could well be still attached. Having DC 100% is going to be incompatible and gives him the perfect excuse for you to not see where and how he.
lives.
No.2: if you just want sex, it could work but if after a relationship, then bin off any man who wants to sext before you've even me as tthat says sex is what they are mainly after - gives me the ick.
3: no relationship for 10 years - read, has issues with being in a relationship, so if you want one, it won't be with him.
4: how far away? Commutable? If it is just sex, you will be one of many as there's a reason people aim for distance.
5: How big is the age gap? If he's a provider, he will expect that to give him some power over you, so if independence is important to you, don't get involved in a transactional relationship.
6: You don't know enough yet, so maybe worth finding out more first.
I don't rate your options, only 6 seems vaguely viable really, and that's because not much is yet known. You clearly waste your time chatting to anyone who is willing to talk as 1-5 should probably have already been binned. They is par for the course with OLD - most men are chaff.
I think you are entertaining vastly different people because you don't really know what you want - that's also why you are asking others and can't decide for yourself. Until you work out what you do want, you will waste a whole lot of time on people you don't want, so better sort that out first.

Well if you have time, meet all 6 and see which one you like best!
I would be wary of no1 though. Is he really single? And the sexting one gives me the ick slightly.

Interesting: I thought #1 would be a clear leader. But you’re right…how do I know what he’s telling me is the truth? It’s obv v easy to lie online. What can I ask him to demonstrate he is who he says he is?

@Opentooffers you’re right I do chat to anyone. Maybe im casting my net too wide (based on some online advice). I don’t want to just judge men by their appearance though. Although physical attraction is important to me.

im aiming for a non-live in relationship because I have younger kids. I want to go slow and see someone when the kids are at their dad’s. Certainly not anything that’s just casual though because I always end up developing feelings. So I’ll rule out #4 for that reason.

age gap with #5 is 13 years. I’m financially independent. But wouldn’t mind someone treating me some of the time (after being the main earner in last relationship, it’d make a nice change)

#6 I’m definitely intrigued and attracted to him. I need him to ask me out though!

#3 I’ll give up (again)
#2 is a maybe 🤔. I’ll see what happens. But you’re both right, proceed with caution

I once had ten dates on a Saturday afternoon in my local coffee shop. Whittled it down to three. Still with one ten years later

Wow @Doggymummar that is impressive work, I’m in awe 🤩

I wanted quick results!

Offer to meet all. Pin them down to a date... sorry to say but this will prob eliminate a few options instantly.
Shag the young one.

The problem is that if you meet a guy who has children but is separated then it's likely he'll see the children at the weekend. If he doesn't have children he will probably want to see much more of you

I wouldn't put into too much time getting to know many especially if you have limited time, you can eliminate a lot before a date happens, if you know guy one has his young children 💯 then realistically it's bit of a non starter unless you are happy only to meet very sporadically.

Young men, great for a shag but that gets boring with zero emotion or progression

Don't go for men you aren't attracted to, and the sexters are just looking for that, I doubt you'll even get more than one date before they want you to go around theirs for an easy shag.

I think you'll quickly learn who not to waste time on, quality over quantity or be prepared to go through men like a interview process if you have the time.

@Redlarge I think you’re right, the conversion rate between interested parties and actual dates is poor. That’s why I chat to more. But maybe time to change that.

@samestyle thanks for the insight. I need to learn to be more decisive. Not a natural state for me unfortunately