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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex wie and new partner

16 replies

singlemumhelp · 03/09/2023 10:33

My partner gets funny about me going out. I went out last night with a friend to a concert but he felt threatened because she is gay whereas I'm
Not but still felt it's like I could cheat. Anyways he got rather drunk and when I was home had told me he slept with the lead singer of the bands gf years ago:
Turns out after I spoke with his ex that this girl
Is her friend and the girl is just a band follower as she's a big fan. She's now telling me it's disgusting and he needs sectioning and that I am off my head for even staying with him ans she believes he shouldn't be around his kids. He didn't drink around them and what he does when they aren't there isn't a issue but it's hard. I mean she very often gives me her opinion on him; we speak as we have to work together as she's now got a job qt my work place; and because of the kids but I sometimes feel stuck in the middle as I see his view in a lot of things but then I also see her view with some things: some things he is unreasonable but then other times I feel she is the one being unreasonable: like he said he would pay for uniform if she sent the receipts so he can pay half. I have no issue with that as I do the same I always send the receipts but she believes it's unresonqbkw

I understand his abandonment issues with being abandoned a lot as a child and having one partner sleeping with our boss. I also understand the jealously because I get like it at times. And i can be just as stroppy about hu going out; as
I just being y reasonsabke thinking she's being a bit of dick.

OP posts:
Neverinamonthofsundays · 03/09/2023 11:05

YOu went out with your gay friend last night, your partner was not happy, had a few drinks and told you that he slept with the band singers girlfriend years ago. Then you rang and asked his ex abuot it and she said you need to get rid of him?

DumpedByText · 03/09/2023 11:17

You need to rewrite this, it makes no sense sorry!

Opentooffers · 03/09/2023 11:54

Jealous people think that what makes them jealous, would make others. Not being a jealous person myself, it is laughable that he thinks saying he slept with a band member's GF years ago, would have any current relevance or effect - so what really, it's prior to you?
But he's showing you that something like that would affect him, and that level is why he's restricting you. Keep any info about your past relationships to yourself, as he's the type to stew on it and throw it back in your face. He probably knows that you chat to his ex and was hoping you'd tell her about it. Seems its worked and got her mad about past events. Claiming he shouldn't be around the DC because he seemingly slept with her friend, is just being perry and using the DC as a weapon in retaliation.
Your post is unclear, but it does look like you've allowed yourself to get stuck in the middle between him and his ex.
Stop oversharing with his ex and asking her opinion, it's not healthy.

singlemumhelp · 03/09/2023 13:45

Sorry I have tried to reword it.
My partner gets funny about me going out. I went out last night with a friend to a concert but he felt threatened because she is gay whereas I'm
Not but he still felt it's like I could cheat. Anyways he got rather drunk and when I was home had told me he slept with the lead singer of the band I went to sees gf years ago.Turns out after I spoke with his ex that this girl he supposedly slept with Is actually her friend and the girl is just a band follower as she's a big fan. His ex wife is now telling me it's disgusting and he needs sectioning and that I am off my head for even staying with him ans she believes he shouldn't be around their kids. He doesn't drink around the kids and what he does when they aren't there isn't a issue but it's hard. I mean the ex wife she very often gives me her opinion on him; we speak as we have to work together as she's now got a job qt my work place; and because of the kids but I sometimes feel stuck in the middle as I see his view in a lot of things but then I also see her view with some things: some things he is unreasonable but then other times I feel she is the one being unreasonable: like he said he would pay for uniform if she sent the receipts so he can pay half. I have no issue with that as I do the same I always send the receipts but she believes it's unresonqbkw

I understand his abandonment issues with being abandoned a lot as a child and having one partner sleeping with our boss. I also understand the jealously because I get like it at times. And i can be just as stroppy about hu going out; as
I just being y reasonsabke thinking she's being a bit of dick.y

OP posts:
Valid8me · 03/09/2023 15:22

Who is sleeping with your boss?

Who does your partners ex think that he needs sectioning?

It all sounds like way too much drama to me.

WhatInFreshHell · 03/09/2023 15:26

What?

Tothemoonandbackx · 03/09/2023 15:59

It still makes no sense, maybe you need to cut out the bits that aren't really relevant

ConnieTucker · 03/09/2023 16:02

Tothemoonandbackx · 03/09/2023 15:59

It still makes no sense, maybe you need to cut out the bits that aren't really relevant

Im so glad you said this. Normally people say they dont understand when actually it is fine. This time ive literally no clue what happened.

ConnieTucker · 03/09/2023 16:05

Ive read it again. Again.

so your boyfriend is so jealous he doesn't like you going out. Even when you go out with a woman he causes problems.

and his ex wide is unreasonable because she recognises that he is a knobhead.

Nochoiceleft · 03/09/2023 16:10

Who slept with the boss? Whose boss? When?

Aquamarine1029 · 03/09/2023 16:11

Why do you willingly have this bullshit in your life? Raise the bar.

ohboohoo · 03/09/2023 21:45

Aquamarine1029 · 03/09/2023 16:11

Why do you willingly have this bullshit in your life? Raise the bar.

Amazing you could understand it

SunflowerTed · 03/09/2023 22:04

DumpedByText · 03/09/2023 11:17

You need to rewrite this, it makes no sense sorry!

I gave up!

Andthereyougo · 03/09/2023 22:12
  1. Get rid of bf.
  2. Go out with whoever you like.
  3. No advice on the boss/who slept with the boss as I’ve no idea how this is connected to you and your life.
beenwhereyouare · 03/09/2023 23:20

Why did you discuss this with his partner?

Purditnin · 04/09/2023 06:13

I don’t understand what’s happened?

His ex wife is now telling me it's disgusting and he needs sectioning and that I am off my head for even staying with him ans she believes he shouldn't be around their kids.

What’s disgusting? Why does he need sectioning?

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