How can I leave?

[Checkedblanke]

Together for 14 years, one 3 Y/O DS.

He's mostly moody, distant quiet and has shared he finds out 3 Y/O too difficult to deal with and his work tiring - both things adding to his mood. For the last 5 years, these low periods do come and go.

I'm fed up and running out of motivation to help him.

Selling up and moving out would be an option but a huge upheaval and expense. I'd probably have a couple of years of financial difficulty and lack of stability. Is it worth it in the long run?

He's not a bad person but things can't stay as they are. I am bored of him telling me things will change.

If he won't change and you can't live with it, then what other option is there? Is it worth the short term pain for a chance at something better?

He needs to go to the GP about his mental health, if he won’t, then it’s over. You don’t have to put up with this.

A couple of years of financial stability is well worth it! You are lucky that’s all it will be! Definitely go for it!!

Going through the exact same thing. I finally gave up and he has left. I will be worse off and it’s difficult but I think it is the right thing to do. It’s so frustrating as things were ‘nearly’ great if it wasn’t for his moods, and at first glance from a stranger it doesn’t sound so bad, but as it goes on and on it’s just awful. Do you want to wake up in 20 years and be living the same life?

Thank you everyone. I may now be talking into an empty room but I got an email asking me to update my thread so here I go.

Thought we had a bit of a breakthrough last night. He feels I am such an authoritative voice that he worries about making mistakes so he takes a bit of a backseat. He needs reassuring and recognition.

He's been better today but I'm still not convinced we've turned a corner. He napped today while DS napped and I thought this might do him some good. I spent this time preparing for the week ahead and doing some small chores. This evening i tried to chat about normal things but he seemed withdrawn and tired.

It's difficult because it's not like he's doing anything really bad, but it's hard to ignore that niggling feeling that I'm kind of dissatisfied.

He will probably find it hard to keep up the facade, he will soon slip back into old ways if he has no intention of making the changes.
I hope your ‘ducks’ are in a row, as he may have cracked in that this could end.