Let me explain cause I know I will get a mixed response. I told my sister I was pregnant as she was miscarrying (I didn’t know this at the time). It was early pregnancy. She had a horrible time, me and my family helped out a lot with her other so her partner could be with her. Barely mention my pregnancy to her or the complications I have had and she rarely mentions it. She has told her friends and other members of outside family that I’m a regnant which I did not agree to so a lot of them congratulate me at events and I didn’t even know they knew. She’s not told her children so if any of my family speaks to me about being pregnant and congratulate me I have to shut it down as to not upset her. This confuses a lot of my family as they want to talk about my baby and I have to act dismissive. My family thinks she’s going too far but nobody dares say anything to her.
She has also told me other people stories of their late miscarriages and babies dying in the womb and getting stuck whilst, tbf unknown to her, I was really worried about mine at the time but I didn’t say anything and let her speak.
This happened in August, it’s now September and I’m 26 weeks pregnant.
Since her miscarriage she has become demanding and bitter towards my mum and dad and others in her family. My mum and dad do their best for her but aren’t as emotionally available as some parent but it doesn’t stop them trying their hardest for her. She says horrible things to her children and step children and shes become so swallowed up in what happened she doesn’t realise how she is acting towards people who are trying to help her. I’ve tried to be there for her but I get I’ve got what she desperately wanted and she doesn’t really reach out to me which I get.
Aside from what happened she has a wonderful life, a partner who is very supportive and loves her deeply, a lot of children already (biological and step), a beautiful house, no money issues and I get that doesn’t stop the pain of what happened she seems to have forgotten about it.
A few weeks back, out of the blue she offered to throw me a baby shower, I agreed but she’s not mentioned it or my pregnancy for weeks. She’s brought it up out of nowhere when I’m really busy demanding to know what I want and I’ve said I’ll speak to her about it later as I’m busy. Shes then told my mum that I was mean to her as I said I’ll let you know in a few days?
After my mum told me she sent me another message asking what I want to do and I’ve said I’ve not given it much thought as she’s not really mentioned it since she asked and she’s not really showed much interest towards the baby.
Boom, she’s gone off on one. Saying that I need to be very careful what I say and how nasty I am for saying this to her as she’s made an effort to ask about the baby etc. The effort was asking the gender.. I’ve clapped back and said it would of been nice to have a sister to help when it got hard and it’s been hard for my immediate family, such as my little boy, been told not to mention it to her and I’ve tried my best for her. She’s said I have said insensitive things to her but I genuinely have racked my brains and come up with nothing. I’m so so careful what I say as to not upset her I can’t think of one thing except saying she’s still got time to have another and she’s had healthy children before. (I know she’s trying again)Then she’s called me names, I’ve called her a brat and she’s blocked me.
Am I the arse here? My mum and dad told me just to leave it and their not getting involved but she’s now deleting me off platforms and I don’t think I deserve this?