Boundaries with the ex - where is the line?

[Forgetmecup]

I feel stuck and upset between wanting to be involved in his life through knowing what is happening with the kids, ex and family life and not wanting to talk about it every day

I don’t know how or where to draw the line - partly I’m a nosey wench, partly I want to be important enough to be consulted, partly I hate the constant details which make me a bit jealous

3 kids means a lot of chaos and constant yakking on about this and that. It’s not a once a week update

I would depend on the custody arrangements. Complete different the implications on a 50/50 custody than in EOW visiting.
50/50 involvement should be close and a deep level as the kids go to school, activities, doctor etc with both parents and there is some organisation that has to be done by the two of them.
EOW is just more of did you have a nice time with daddy? Did they eat well etc. Not much there.

I don’t know how or where to draw the line - partly I’m a nosey wench, partly I want to be important enough to be consulted, partly I hate the constant details which make me a bit jealous

This sounds a bit odd and quite unhealthy.

Why do you want to be important enough to he consilted? Consulted about what?

Has it not been long since you split?

I have really strong emotional attachments to people, takes me up to 2 years to "get over it" so in time these feelings may not apply and you wont feel pangs or the need to know.

I also find making my life as fulfilling with kids as possible and life satisfaction stops me investing in my Ex life :)

It is unhealthy for you, which i think you know..but its not like you can just switch off deep emotions.

Boundaries would be keeping topics and info that is only relevent to kids.

How often do you speak? If it's once a week then that sounds pretty healthy. If it's everyday then you are continuing a form of relationship via the communication of your children.

What does your ex think?

Does he have custody?

What should I do when my partner’s ex sends messages with kisses are added? He says it’s meaningless.