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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can anyone give any advice I can pass on to my friend?

3 replies

temporarilynotme · 02/03/2008 11:10

I have changed my name for her sake - just in case ...
To cut a v long story short:
My best friend married a twat a few years ago (she didn't see what he was like until it was too late sadly) .. after treating her like crap for a few years he left her with 2 small children to care for ... although luckily he was a rich twat so she has not had too much problems with financial stuff.
Anyway - long after they had separated she had a relationship with someone else and her husband found out and turned violent - police involved etc - she was hurt physically, it was awful. She divorced him and in the divorce proceedings she found out that a girlfriend had an injunction out on him due to violence. Anyway, over the last 2 years she has worked hard to build a 'working' relationship with him for the sake of the children and recently things were looking ok. They live in the same town, he sees the children every weekend and it was all ok (although she has been too scared to have a relationship with anyone else)
But - last week her children came home from a weekend with him and they told her that 'Daddy had been naughty' and had had an argument with his girlfriend. It turns out that her 4 year old son witnessed his father hit his girlfriend during an argument.
My friend is distraught and beside herself. She has stopped all contact and has told him that until she has the truth from him he can't see the children without her being there or his mother being there. He denies it and says the little boy is lying .

What on EARTH can she do???

help ... please ...

OP posts:
SheWillBeLoved · 02/03/2008 11:14

Short of getting hold of his GF and asking her - not much. But I honestly wouldn't let my kids near someone like that, their father or not. He has a history of violence and if she feels her kids could be in danger with him then she has every right as a mother to protect them as much as she can.

A trip to her solicitor would be wise - without him knowing of course, to see where she legally stands in terms of him only having supervised visits.

temporarilynotme · 02/03/2008 11:17

She has told him she wants to sit down with his GF and talk to her and he has gone all "We're busy" and "Maybe next weekend" ... so her suspicions are heightened even more.
She doesn't want them to see him and she has stopped all contact. But she doesn't know what to do now ...
sigh.

OP posts:
warthog · 02/03/2008 11:30

could she visit or talk to the gf? i doubt he's going to be forthcoming about this.

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