26 weeks pregnant and hubby is done with me?

[wolfpack]

Not sure what I’m looking for her, maybe a virtual hug and someone to tell me I’ll be ok?

I am 26 weeks with pregnant with #2 with a beautiful 3 year old boy. Hubby and I went through a rough patch in 2020 but went through 6 months therapy and came out a lot stronger. Or so I thought.

For the last few weeks things haven’t seemed right and when I’ve confronted it heads on, turns out it’s been a lot longer, he’s not been happy and felt forced into have another baby (bearing in mind in I had to go through various cycles of drugs to ovulate!). In a nut shell, he wants to leave me to find happiness for himself, whatever that may be. He denies there’s someone else (as I’m sure they all do) and puts it down to his mental health.

To say I’m shell shocked is an understatement. I literally feel like I’ve had the rug pulled from under me and I’m just free falling.

Has anybody else been through this? Am I going to be ok? I’m so scared of what the future looks like as I have clearly been living on a different planet to him for the last few years.

So sorry this has happened to you.

It sounds like he has decided it's just all too much effort for him to be a grown up, partner, parent so he has taken the easy way out and blamed you.....

Tell family and friends who will support you and start rearranging your life to suit you and your children.

Start by contacting CMS and take it from there. Try not to be surprised when the next step is that he tries to blame you for breaking up his happy family! 😱

Focus your love and energy on those who love you.

I’m so sorry, what is wrong with men.
Talk to your midwife so they can support you. Do you have family support too?
For now I’d treat the situation a bit like a bereavement and the best advice I was given was to take it a minute at a time, one breath at a time. Tell yourself in this minute you're ok , your child is ok, your baby is ok.

So sorry you are going through this. It sounds very cruel and cowardly of your ex to go through all of this, try for a second baby and now this. To say he felt forced to have another baby is low and frankly pathetic. Long run you are definitely better off without him. No sage words of advice just to say you're not alone and will be ok. As you are married try to focus on the financial practicalities and get ahead on this one. Speak to a solicitor sooner rather than later. He may be reasonable but he may also be the typeto empty a joint account.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Tell him he needs to leave

What's your financial situation?
Do you work?
Own your home?
Joint savings?
Do you have any support locally? Family/friends.
Read The Script. There will be another woman, make no mistake.
Don't do the pick me dance.
You cannot rely on this man child.

I am so sorry ❤️
We're you pregnant during your rough patch in 2020 too? Is this a pattern?

No I wasn’t thankfully. This has all come out the blue, I’m completely shocked by it all tbh. We went from him being so excited earlier this year to becoming so disengaged and claiming he was trying to make it work. My heart hurts for my little boy and our unborn 😢

Yes I’m lucky to have a great support system around me and have moved to my parents for the time being. You’re so right in saying it’s like a bereavement, I literally feel like I’m in mourning for what I thought my life was. Trying my hardest to take each minute and day as it comes 🙏🏽

If it were me, I'd take him at face value and crack on. Easier said than done when you're hurting inside but, at least in front of him, just make your plans and action them.

Ie, start planning your next moves - living arrangements, apply for cms, prep for baby arriving etc.

I'm so sorry this has happened.

You say you have a strong support network which is brilliant. You will be absolutely fine - and just as crucially, so will your DC. Your DS is still young enough to be able to get used to a new lifestyle quickly and before too long, he won't remember how it was before.

You will get to fill your home with love without having to worry about keeping a man-child happy, and worrying about whether he's going to walk away again. And he is a man child, walking out on you when you are 26 weeks pregnant is a shitty thing to do. If he was unhappy before he should have spoken up when you were TTC, but I suspect it's more than something (or someone) has turned his head now (sorry).

I split up with my ex when I was 6 weeks pregnant with twins. I was fine. The DC are beautiful, happy, well-adjusted children (they're 13 years old now!!). I loved being able to concentrate on them when they were tiny babies without having to worry about a partner. I didn't plan to be single, but it worked out strangely to be rather lovely!

Do you think he will want to be involved/share custody? Or do you think he will be a hands-off/distant dad?

I know you're in shock now, but you will be OK ❤️ Get as much support as you can from loved ones, and as PP have suggested, start making practical steps to get everything in motion.

Sending you hugs.

You poor thing. It will get easier ♥️

I'm sorry this is happening to you. PPs are right, you need to crack on and rearrange your life. Tell your family and friends. Cope with the immediate situation, focus on your little one and try to establish a new normal.

Please prepare yourself mentally. for the likelihood of another woman. In my experience, men seldom jump unless they have somewhere to jump to.

Yes, you are definitely going to be ok. In fact, you are going to survive and thrive!! Fantastic that you’ve got a strong support network. Lean into them whilst you try to process the enormous shock you’ve had. Try to eat, get outside a bit, and turn your mind off by watching crappy tv/ reading a book, whatever works for you.
What he is saying does sound very much like “the script”. I’m sorry op, but think it likely he has met someone else and, rather than facing the FACT that he is just yet another entitled wanker who is cheating on his pregnant wife, he blames you for it, because you “forced him” to have a baby, or he’s “never been happy” or…..well, insert any bullshit you want. It’s all rubbish of course and won’t stand up under scrutiny, but it’s easier for him to lie to you and himself than face the truth. So be it.
Focus on you, tell everyone you want and need to, gather all the support you can. Leave him to wallow in his own shit, he is not your friend. Good luck op, a few of my friends have been through this (pregnancy seems to be a prime time for this shite 🤬) but ALL have come out the other side, stronger and happier xxx

Ugh, what a selfish man child he is. He’s trying to lay the blame at your door already with words such as ‘forced’. And citing his mental health issues.

Get things sorted out financially in a totally business-like fashion. Lean on your support network for this. It will make the future easier and more secure, which will allow you to have an emotional wobble if you need to.

And be prepared for a ‘new’ girlfriend soon.

I’ve been through this in pregnancy
So good you have a support network
Best advice I never took was to sort financials as early as possible
(There was an OW, and when they had a kid it meant my settlement was worse)

sorry if that is not what you want to hear but it’s so important to get a financial arrangement legally drawn up