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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What type of counseling do I need? (family dynamics, grief)

2 replies

evuscha · 31/08/2023 23:05

I’ve had a rough year. My dad died about 6 months ago, after a horrendous month in a hospital he desperately tried to get out of, and I live overseas and couldn’t get to him, to help or to say goodbye. I got pregnant around that time and spent 4 months bedridden with HG, feeling sick 24/7. This all contributed to me feeling extra sensitive about other issues, where I feel like the two most important people to me, my mum and my DH, didn’t have my back when I needed them. I made a thread about my DH issue (we basically had his friend staying over for a weekend and she was very critical of me and my DD and he didn’t say a thing and still doesn’t see anything wrong with her making digs at us), with my mum it’s more complicated but basically a longstanding issue of her favouring one of my sisters and never standing up for me against her, not even when I was little (sister is 10 years older). The latest being my last once-a-year visit to my hometown when my sister was horrid to me, and my mum again tried to find reasons to justify it instead of telling her to stop.

Safe to say I’m currently feeling very low (not helped by the pregnancy hormones), exhausted and like something needs to change and I need help.

So basically, I know there’s a lot to unpick and hope to find some comfort in counseling, but I don’t even know where to begin. What type of therapy do I need? Would that give me tools to not get upset at these things? To be more assertive? I of course don’t want a divorce and going NC with my whole family, I am NC with my sister but already feeling like it’s me who is punished the most. My DH is otherwise a really good one but seriously let me down here. What do I need to do to deal with this?

OP posts:
Tabblesnattles · 01/09/2023 07:55

I can highly recommend Michelle at pregnancy hyperemesis counselling. Google her. As for grief / family dynamics she may be able to point you in the right direction if she can’t help you herself.
All the very best.

evuscha · 01/09/2023 17:15

Thank you so much, I will look her up!

OP posts:
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