Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Perspective needed

2 replies

bannerid · 31/08/2023 22:51

I'm 6 weeks into a cbt course that I'm not sure is really helping me - I think I've been depressed on an off all my adult life, I'm early 40's. I've been married for 12 years and with my partner for nearly 20. I struggle with communicating and always have. It's like I spend most of my life making myself as small as possible and trying to cut off how I feel until it all blows up in my face. It has made being married to me very difficult and I think my partner has finally had enough and I think we need to split. But we can't even talk about that. We have kids in the house and my sister in law staying for a bit and incredibly busy lives. But it's so complex, we have a daughter together and other caring commitments. I have found the CBT quite confronting in terms of highlighting where all the issues I have are but not really offering me many solutions. I absolutely cannot afford private therapy, we are barely hanging on financially.
I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe because I feel so desperately alone and I can't even talk to my partner properly - I didn't even feel able to say I'd started cbt but it's come out tonight, along with the fact I've started having panic attacks. I'm very aware of my failings as a person and a wife but I can't seem to overcome them. Has anyone found their way out of a depression hole and found a way to save their relationships with their family, any advice on how to show my partner how I'm feeing without just burdening her with all the shit?

OP posts:
Hamsterwheel21 · 31/08/2023 22:56

So sorry you are feeling this way. I previously had cbt and didn’t find it useful. What I did find useful was getting outside every day, doing some exercise and completely changing my diet. The impact of a better diet and exercise was unbelievable to my mental health. Making small changes that become long lasting.
depression can be crippling but can also be overcome. Don’t let it ruin everything good you have. You have to take control!

bannerid · 31/08/2023 23:02

Hey, thanks for replying. Can I ask if you did any other types of therapy if you found cbt not much use? I have always managed my periods of being down through exercise and being outside and I'm trying really hard to be outside for a while everyday but I'm not sure it's enough this time. I think I have lived my life in a holding pattern between crisises and I don't even know what a balanced me looks or feels like. My partner said we were strangers tonight and I think it's because I can't let anyone in, I can't express how I feel about anything.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread