When you realised it was just platonic…

[Blossom4538]

and you would like love, a physical relationship…what did you do? Stick with it or change the situation.

Im so sad - my H is lovely but it’s purely platonic.

Well when did you feel this way?

if it’s dawned on you quite suddenly is it because he has let himself go, or you don’t spend date nights together or haven’t got time for affection/relationship stuff because of young kids. If it’s this then perhaps you can turn it around with effort

but in your heart you will know if there is hope. Imagine not being married to him - and him being with someone else in future - how would that make you feel?

Has it always been this way ?

I'm guessing not.

I wouldn't stick with it if there's no hope for change. Living forever wondering what it could be like.

I would stick with it if I thought there way ways of rekindling and making it work.
Effort before end

I guess it’s been like this for a long time, years.

Im scared I’ll miss him (although we have children and will always be in each others lives)

We get on well, but I would like more really. I’m scared of making a big mistake though.

financially I worry too…

If you’re married, was it more than platonic at any point? You have kids so there’s been sex at some point. Life with jobs and children is rarely a grand romance, are you wanting something that doesn’t exist?

Physical desire can be rekindled. It ebbs and flows in a long-term relationship and actually we do have some control over this. I find the more interested I act, the more interested I feel.

It’s very easy to get caught up in the daily grind and overlook opportunities for intimate connection? Have you tried to rediscover that side of your relationship? Or just let things drift? And remember, the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. Mature, deep love feels solid and gentle rather than intense and passionate.