What would you do about this?

[HeroineIsm]

I went away on holiday and because my kindle was broken my OH gave me his IPad to use.

While I was there I looked at his photos and discovered a group of photos of real life naked women (I assume his exes) on there. They were all from May 2021 when I was with him. Because they include one of me which wasn't taken in May 2021, I assume he somehow imported them from another album on that date rather than took them on that date. I am assuming they are his exes from before me rather than women he cheated on.

But maybe I'm wrong! (I can't see how he was unfaithful at that time).

We don't live together for reference. We have had a bit of an on/off relationship but are getting on very well now after some counselling

What would you do? Clearly I shouldn't have looked at his photos. But I do feel upset that he has these pictures on his ipad.

You’ve been together what, 2-3 years and you’ve already had to have counselling? That tells you everything you need to know. Either way, he’s a creep. He’s perving on his exes naked photos when he’s supposed to be with you and in doing to is treating you disrespectfully.

What do you mean you can't see how he could be unfaithful when you weren't living together? It would be as easy as anything! He sounds an absolute creep.

We've been together 5 years. Yes it's really disrespectful

If you need counselling to salvage a relationship with a man you don't even live with, aren't married to, or don't have children with, that means you need to end it.

If men can be unfaithful when living with a woman full time as partner/husband then they sure as hell can do this when they arent! You are being very naive to think otherwise I am afraid. as others have said only 2 years in, its on/off and you need counselling? not set for the long haul is it.

Why on earth have you had counselling for a relationship that has no signs of security, longevity or moving forward?

He’s disrespectful and this is so clear! Get rid!!! Honestly get rid!

I agree with this 100% all this faff for a man you sound unsure of .

I didn't take the decision to have counselling lightly and neither did he. It's a big investment in terms of money, time and emotion. We have both been very committed to it . We didn't have counselling due to commitment issues and he's shown a true willingness to tackle things.

That said, I do have uncertainties about him (unrelated to the photos). And yes, it's clearly hugely disrespectful. So I'm not making any excuses for him at all.

I would say I agree with others.

If you are in an on/off relationship is so young that there is no co-habiting, no children and no financial entanglement then you split up rather than invest in relationship counselling to help you to 'get on', surely?!

As for the photos. Whether they are exes or women he cheated on you with during your relationship, he has collated them for 'personal use' during (well into) your relationship.

That's disrespectful to them and you and would be a deal breaker for me.

Along with your 'other uncertainties', I can't see how you would want to stay with him let alone could.

I would have deleted and then dumped!
Just not good enough!