Breakup thread

[Forfucksake84]

Anyone else currently going through a breakup? I am 6 weeks in and still in a lot of pain

I know what you mean, the thought of moving on or even going near anyone else currently is just not an option. I don't know how they do it!

It's my 39th birthday today and I'm so depressed. Last year I was so happy...I had a lovely partner who spoiled me and took me away for the weekend. He was all I could have asked for. Now I'm nearly 40, miserable and alone. He had even booked somewhere for my birthday this year just before we split up. I am 7 weeks post breakup and am still feeling very deep sadness and no hope for the future. Never felt this bad in my life...

@Forfucksake84 happy birthday I am 9 months out and still feel terrible. I also had the worst birthday back in July thinking about the year before. I have no advise as I am still struggling too but just hope it will all work out in the end and better things are coming. We have no other choice

Thank you. What happened with you of you don't mind me asking. The future just looks so bleak to me. I feel like I'm not good enough and no-one wants me. It has really affected my self esteem.

He left me for a younger women. Are you in no contact ?

My ex ex left me for a younger woman but this current ex left me because he couldn't see a future with my children, despite saying he was committed these last 2 years. I've been in no contact for 3 weeks but he's made his decision clear. I want nothing more than to have him back. How long were you with your partner?

@Forfucksake84 do you think there might be someone else ?...3 years am absolutely gutted he's been with the new girl even since probably was going on before. It's really knocked my self worth as well

There was no sign of there being anyone else. We were planning to move in together and he panicked. It was almost a overnight decision. He said he hadn't been honest with himself and that he didn't think he could be happy living with my children. I really wasn't expecting it and am quite traumatised by the whole thing...

@Forfucksake84 that's how I feel it's like a trauma I thought we were fine next minute he was gone never to speak again.
It's made me question my worth if I could trust anyone again.
How could he love me then doesn't.
I am so sorry I wish I could help as I understand your pain it's the most painful thing I have ever been through.

Have you had therapy? I am starting therapy on Friday, I really hope it helps. If you want you can private message me and we can chat there? I find it really helps to talk to someone going through a similar thing x

I was dumped out the blue in March after 7 years together. We own a house and were due to go on a big and expensive holiday 4 weeks later. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and was terrified about what my future looked like.

Nearly 6 months down the line and I have honestly never been happier. I know everyone's situation is different but I feel like I had wool over my eyes during at least the last year of the relationship and only now am I able to see how poorly he treated me.

You need to stop thinking of him as the love of your life and the perfect man for you. Would the love of your life break up with you out the blue? Based on an overnight decision? That's not someone who deserves you. It's a pathetic childish move and I know it's easy for me to say this here but you're better off without him if that's how he treats someone he allegedly cares about.

Time is a healer and it does get better.

Thankyou for the insight. I'm so sorry what you went through and I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. From a outsiders opinion do you think it's acceptable to suddenly break up with someone you supposedly love just because they have children? Despite acting like you're in it for the long haul. Bearing in mind this is a 40 year old man...

No it is not acceptable and certainly not at that age imo. As an outsider - I would say that's not something you suddenly change your mind about overnight. He must have had doubts before and the fact he's not shared these with you or communicated with you shows how little he cares and his level of maturity (or lack of).

I agree, but he definitely never shared these concerns. He was good with the children. He let them down as well as me. I wish I could say he'd treated me badly during the relationship as it would help me move on but I can honestly say I was so happy during my time with him and he had so many good qualities. Thats what hurts the most.

You need to stop thinking about how well he treated you and his good qualities. If he truly treated you well he wouldn't have done this! Like you say it's not just you he has let down but your kids too. They don't need that in their lives and neither do you.

The world is full of mature attractive and caring men. Don't settle for any less than you deserve!!

Hey OP be interesting to know how you are now? Im a day in and really struggling @Forfucksake84

Hi I'm sorry to hear you're struggling I'm better than I was back then but I still think of him every day and feel really sad that things didn't work out. I feel like I will never meet anyone I liked as much. What were the circumstances of your break up?