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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Is he an addict ?

10 replies

Milou89 · 29/08/2023 21:33

I know this guy since 2021, through a common group of friends. Find him interesting, a lot in common, great conversations....But there is something who stop me from making a move. He is very open about a past alcohol addiction (4 years sobber ) but he told me that he smokes weed because he stopped drinking. Where we live it is legal (Canada) that's not the question. Would you call him an addict ? Not just a recovering alcoolic but an addict ?

OP posts:

GrazingSheep · 29/08/2023 21:34

Yes

DustyLee123 · 29/08/2023 21:35

Yes, he’s moved from one addiction to another.

porridgeisbae · 29/08/2023 21:37

Yes, and it sounds like it could move from substance to substance as his mental need for something mood altering remains rather than him having dealt with the causes.

So he could go back to drinking or if he were to happen to be prescribed painkillers he might end up eventually abusing them etc.

It's basically a psychologically unhealthy person who hasn't done anything about it. I'm sure he has other issues and the pot will be making those worse.

FOJN · 29/08/2023 22:33

I would not date anyone who had a history of substance abuse and stopped using one substance only to start using another. It does not matter that weed is legal where you are, it is a mind altering substance and changing the way you feel to avoid reality is the very essence of addiction.That is not recovery and he will likely relapse with alcohol because he does not appear to understand the nature of addiction.

mummymeister · 29/08/2023 22:37

He abuses substances and is addicted to them. doesnt matter if its alcohol, weed or whatever. thats what he is, thats what he does. dont get mixed up in this in any way shape or form. you would be setting yourself up for years of heartache, financial issues etc. walk away before you get any more involved.

BackAgainstWall · 29/08/2023 22:44

Yes, he’s an addict.

Katmai · 29/08/2023 22:56

Yes, he's an addict.

MaryJanesonabreak · 29/08/2023 23:21

Self medicating to squash down whatever trauma it is that he doesn’t feel he has capacity to deal with.
You are not his therapist, you cannot fix him.

category12 · 29/08/2023 23:46

Switching substance isn't recovery.

Original poster

Milou89 · 30/08/2023 18:02

Thanks you all! It is a bit disapointing considering he is a highly educated man with a good job...such a waste

OP posts:

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