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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please don’t judge.

45 replies

Skyfallen · 29/08/2023 11:50

Hi, I’ve been with my partner for 12 yrs. he doesn’t really show me much attention and puts me down about my weight. I love him so much and don’t want to leave him. Last year I got some attention from a neighbour, this was all done through text. I was silly and sent pictures some thing I totally regret and wish I could turn the clocks back. I went away last weekend and a thought just popped in my head to blurt it out to what I have done. This is all I can think about and now keep thinking I need to tell him but this would ruin to many lives. My anxiety is through the roof and we go away again at the weekend and I don’t want to ruin anything as our son is coming with us aswell. I just feel so down and can’t seem to get it out of my head.

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 29/08/2023 16:11

Nobody should ever voluntarily admit to any kind of cheating

According to what rules? If my partner cheated, I'd rather be told, so what you think 'should' happen bears little weight. Everybody is different. Most people prefer honesty.

80s · 29/08/2023 16:20

Most people prefer honesty.
Once you've cheated it's a bit late for honesty. I'd also have been a bit baffled tbh if my exh had come to me and actively volunteered the information that he'd been cheating, out of the blue, without my having any reason to suspect him.
But I do agree that when I did suspect him and politely asked if there was another woman, I'd rather he'd have fessed up rather than (as he did) gaslighting me and doing a massive DARVO.

Watchkeys · 29/08/2023 16:26

Once you've cheated it's a bit late for honesty

What? You think the right time to be honest about infidelity is beforehand? You'd like your partner to lie to you forever if they'd slept with someone else?

Mrsttcno1 · 29/08/2023 16:28

I’m sorry OP but of course you need to tell him, or leave him.

Others saying he has also done wrong are of course correct, he hasn’t gone about things in the right way, but neither have you by starting what is essentially an affair with your neighbour, albeit short, by text including photos.

You can’t possibly love him to have done this, or at least not as much as you think you do, or this wouldn’t have happened. And it sounds like he isn’t the best partner to you either- you should be with somebody who makes you totally happy.

The comments about your weight are absolutely unfair and he shouldn’t be doing that, but I suppose one way to think about it is how different is that in terms of the affect on you, than what you have done to him?

These comments about your weight make you unhappy, they make you feel insecure. You flirting with and sending photos to your neighbour would make him feel the same way. The only difference is you’ve kept yours a secret from him.

TheBrightestStarInTheSky · 29/08/2023 16:38

If he hadn't made such horrible comments you wouldn't be looking for approval elsewhere.
I think your being too hard on yourself, you made a mistake, time to move on. you
I would tell partner every time you try to help me by calling me fat I'm going to spend £50 on myself on nice clothes, then when l decide to lose weight l can find myself a decent man. Tell him that's your way of helping him become a kinder person.

Skyfallen · 29/08/2023 16:39

I know I have done wrong and I don’t feel great about it. I haven’t slept with this person and it’s always when I’d had a drink that I got the confidence to do it. I can’t tell him and I feel so bad about lying but I don’t want us to split up.

OP posts:
Floating83 · 29/08/2023 16:47

I'll be totally honest that I feel you should tell him, but also be honest about how his behaviour has made you feel. That you know you made a mistake and you would do anything to take it back as you see a future for you.
Be honest that there are clear things you both need to be working on for this relationship to continue.
I understand people who say don't tell him, but having been cheated on, by the person not telling me, they made the choice for me of if I should stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't love me enough to be wholly committed no matter what. And to be frank, that's not their choice.
When you cheat in some form, you relinquish that right in my eyes, it is no longer your choice and you should think of that before you make the mistake.
We are all grown ups, mistakes have consequences, you just have to deal with them.

Mrsttcno1 · 29/08/2023 16:52

I know you say you “don’t want to split up”, but even subconsciously that can’t be the case because people who love their partner & want to build a life with them wouldn’t seek attention elsewhere no matter the reason.

How is it fair on him to continue your relationship not knowing about this? He deserves the chance to decide for himself.

You should also speak to him about how the way he speaks to you makes you feel.

It may be that once you both can sit down and speak openly and honestly, you can both take something from the conversation and can build a better, healthier relationship for both of your sakes. But you cannot build anything healthy when there are secrets and lies.

80s · 29/08/2023 17:16

You think the right time to be honest about infidelity is beforehand?
I'm not in the mood for this sort of stupid comment today.

"Once you've cheated it's a bit late for honesty" meant "If you're cheating you're already being dishonest".

You'd like your partner to lie to you forever if they'd slept with someone else?
I specifically said that I would not, immediately after the bit you quoted.

80s · 29/08/2023 17:19

Skyfallen · 29/08/2023 16:39

I know I have done wrong and I don’t feel great about it. I haven’t slept with this person and it’s always when I’d had a drink that I got the confidence to do it. I can’t tell him and I feel so bad about lying but I don’t want us to split up.

Have you thought about cutting out alcohol? I know it's easier said than done, but if you do I bet you'd find your anxiety levels dropped. Alcohol feels like it helps at the time, but actually it causes anxiety later on.

Skyfallen · 29/08/2023 17:49

Thank you all so much for the comments. This has left me in such a mess I don’t want to go on my holiday now. I’ve cried all the way home from work l.

OP posts:
category12 · 29/08/2023 17:52

When's your next appointment with your counsellor?

Skyfallen · 29/08/2023 17:54

Next week

OP posts:
category12 · 29/08/2023 18:03

OK, so try to think about any techniques or strategies they've given you to deal with the anxiety, and try to ground yourself a bit. There's no need to make any decisions now. There is no urgency to this problem or this guilty feeling. It is just a lot of emotions, they will pass and change.

When you see your counsellor maybe discuss what you're going to do with them.

Skyfallen · 29/08/2023 18:11

category12 I’ve spoken to her about this yesterday. She has. Given me some techniques but my head is in such a mess. Saying something to him isn’t an option as I will ruin innocent peoples life’s.

OP posts:
Skyfallen · 29/08/2023 18:15

Going to do with what category12?

OP posts:
category12 · 29/08/2023 18:18

Whether you're going to tell your partner or not. Sorry, that sentence was a bit woolly.

Have you discussed your partner's denigrating behaviour with your counsellor at all? Have they said anything about it?

Mrsttcno1 · 29/08/2023 18:19

OP although I absolutely believe breathing techniques etc can be fantastic for dealing with anxiety, nothing is going to rid you of the anxiety of keeping the secret of your infidelity from your “partner”. No amount of counselling will unpick that anxiety, because it’s the anxiety of keeping a secret from someone you share every day of your life with, anybody would feel anxious under those circumstances.

You say that saying something to him will ruin innocent people’s lives, keeping it a secret could do exactly the same thing, and it could well also destroy your mental health. It will come out one day, these things always do, and when it does things will blow up regardless.

I think you have an opportunity here to discuss this with your partner, both the other man and the way he makes you feel, you have the benefit of being the one who tells him rather than him finding out from anyone else potentially years down the line. You can potentially use this as a real turning point in your relationship, to make you a stronger and healthier couple.

If you believe that he would leave you if he knew the truth, then all the more reason you should tell him. He deserves the choice to decide for himself if he wants to put up with it, if you refuse to tell him because you know he wouldn’t then you’re taking that choice from him and that hurts an innocent person too.

He has hurt you, and you have hurt him. You may well find that when you both can get it all out in the open, when the dust settles, you are a much healthier happier and stronger couple for the hardship x

80s · 29/08/2023 18:29

I think OP needs to be careful about telling her dp as he does not sound very nice. It's all very well wanting to be honest, but if being honest leads to even nastier comments (or worse) then it's not going to relieve OP's anxiety.

StopStartStop · 29/08/2023 18:37

he doesn’t really show me much attention and puts me down about my weight

Split up. You'll be less anxious immediately.
In the meantime, tell him nothing. About anything. You don't owe this man anything, he is making your life miserable.

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