On/off relationship with a man for the past couple of years. Every time we have been together has been his choice, but either we have argued or he suddenly withdraws, which is incredibly stressful for me.
We have been ‘on’ for the past few months but I was feeling more unhappy as time went on. Sometimes he would randomly shout at me, or disappear overnight and I wouldn’t hear from him in 24 hours.
If I didn’t answer quickly enough to his messages, he’d accuse me of cheating and being out with men, using really vulgar language. But if he didn’t respond to me for a day, if I said anything about that he called me intense and clingy. I also saw notifications on his phone from several different women - I know his female friends and the names didn’t match up, when I mentioned this he accused me of trying to spoil the day and said they were work contacts.
It came to a head this bank holiday weekend - we were supposed to be going to the coast overnight, his idea. The weekend comes around and he doesn’t mention it. I bring it up, and he gets incredibly angry - and tells me how much he has going on at work, how tired he is, and that he has other plans to attend. This was the final straw for me, I told him I no longer felt a romantic connection to him due to his behaviour, and ended things.
I know deep down I made the right choice but I feel really regretful because I love him. We had so many lovely special times too, he was really caring sometimes but it alternated between being the perfect boyfriend (lovely dates, incredibly considerate, gifts etc) and randomly being very horrible towards me for no apparent reason.
I can’t work out why I feel regretful when I know he was having a negative impact on my life. It’s making me worry I still love him or I need to act on my feelings because I might not meet someone I feel the same way towards. I know how pathetic this all sounds, I’m just being honest.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom on this please? I feel so upset and stressed out.