Do I or don’t I??

[WhatShallIdo11]

I’ve known my, whatever he is, for many years. We first met when he did work for me - we were both married at the time. We got on great and over the years we occasionally ran into each other as we live local. Both our marriages ended over 8 years ago. I asked him to do some work around 3 years ago - hadn’t seen him for several years. He came and quoted, and I found out how old he was and he found out my age - he’s 13 years younger. Long story short, things got a bit flirty, it was lockdown and we decided to bubble up. We have been seeing each other ever since - think we’ve always thought it was a fun, FWB thing. He knows I have seen others as has he. The problem is - I’ve fallen for him - well, I’ve always adored him but written him off as a longer term partner but now …. Do I tell him and risk what have?

what terms does he use for you girlfriend?partner?
when did you or he last have a casual hookup with someone else? Does he know you want to be exclusive, has it came up?
Really depends on the expectations you both have
Would it be so hard to just directly ask him,what’s the status of our relationship?
He may feel the same? Until you have the conversation you won’t know

what if he replies it’s a FWB arrangement and he will see other women, will you be happy to maintain that or do you want a steady exclusive relationship

We don’t refer to each other as anything - we only ever meet up at our homes so don’t socialise together. He last had a hookup last October - I have more recently. We have never had a chat about exclusivity - it’s never been an issue for either of us - we’ve just really enjoyed catching up every few weeks - we talk for hours about everything and often don’t go to bed until it’s getting light. It is definitely more than sex - he’s like my best friend with a bit more. I would be happy to continue as FWB but it does make me step back from getting more involved with anyone else.

I think you should go for it. But maybe just a small step ar first rather than putting it all out there.

So how does he introduce you to others or describe you Eg old mucker,my mate,girlfriend ?

yes take it lightly no big tah dah reveal