Cousin married to gambler

[Everdeen80]

Hi everyone, could do with some advice. I am very close to my cousin - let’s call her Sarah.
sarah has always had quite a bad run of luck with men, but about six years ago met a lovely guy (so it seemed) called let’s say James.
anyway, after about three years they bought a house together. Their mortgage application was a nightmare because it transpired James was addicted to gambling and had a terrible credit rating. I advised her not to go ahead with the mortgage but she did anyway. He said he’d enter therapy etc, didn’t but did seem to stop.
anyway all seemed ok, two dc now. However he’s recently admitted that he’s relapsed. She had to ask her parents (my aunt and uncle) for £25k to pay off his debts, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to pay the mortgage. He’s now entering therapy etc.
I think she should leave. What can I do? She’s been very open with me about it but I have kept my opinions to myself.

just going through similar with a friend and her dh being a gambler. All you can do is advise, listen, be there. Its up to them to make changes

I have a cousin who was married to a gambler. I've written about her on MN before, hoping to get through to women like Sarah.

My cousin's husband destroyed her life. She lost everything because of his gambling. She stayed with him for years, believing his lies and thinking she could fix him, but an addict does what an addict does. They take down everyone right along with them.

My cousin bitterly regrets not leaving him when the issue first reared it's head. What's become of her life is nothing short of tragic, all because she chose to stay with a gambler.

Tell your cousin to get out now while there's still something to be saved (I mean financially) because when the crash comes (nb "when" not "if") she could lose everything.

@Aquamarine1029 She stayed with him for years, believing his lies and thinking she could fix him, but an addict does what an addict does. They take down everyone right along with them.

So true. Different addiction but my ex almost destroyed me mentally, financially, every way. It’s like a never ending downward spiral. Just when you’ve hit the bottom, it drags you down even further. She needs to get out asap.