Married 4 years. 2 DC. Still together. DH and I aren't getting on. He checks out regularly and then becomes v loving and fun for a few days. He takes me for granted. I don't respect him. He hates work, spends all my money, and his opinions about politics etc are pretty awful. We co habit. I've tried talking to him many times.
I know I've made a mistake but there is no abuse, addiction or other women. I want to leave though
But I can't get over the fear. The main one is that he will turn the kids against me. That they will blame me. Go live with him. I know families where the kids idolise the terrible absent father. I see numerous threads on here about unhappy kids, awful family court for years. I would rather stick it out with DH then risk losing my DC in some way.
I'm spending all night struggling to sleep imagining my kids being neglected by him or him getting custody or them hating me. I know DH can be revengeful and wouldn't rise above anything.
How do I get over the fear? My kids are 2 and 5. The negative thoughts about the future are taking me over and every week I tell myself just to stay.