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Original poster

Partner following lots of girls on insta

11 replies

Anon1124372 · 28/08/2023 07:37

Recently a friend asked if a new my partner has been following all her friend group on insta, I didn't but decided to have a look and he was followed a lot and it's made me feel shitty as the look nothing like me...., I brought it up and he was like it's only insta ect , that he gives me 100% and doesn't see an issue with it, my issue is I feel like he is messaging them on it just have this gut feeling as he's been more secretive with his phone and spends a lot of time on insta...
Like if it was the other way about me following guys ext liking their pictures I'm sure there would be an issue, even if a guy pops up on my phone ( from work discussing work it's an issue)
I'm not being unreasonable that what he doing is wrong?

OP posts:
trivalli · 28/08/2023 07:49

I would feel the same as you but I do think a lot of guys do this and don't see the issue with it. It could well be harmless and nothing in it; does he personally know any of them? What kinds of photos do he like? I think if he's liking photos of them wearing barely anything, that's wrong and quite disrespectful. I wouldn't like it either. Has he got history of being unfaithful or messaging girls? If not, perhaps benefit of the doubt and explain why you're not ok with it but if it's a gut feel, don't ignore it x

Original poster
Anon1124372 · 28/08/2023 07:50

trivalli · 28/08/2023 07:49

I would feel the same as you but I do think a lot of guys do this and don't see the issue with it. It could well be harmless and nothing in it; does he personally know any of them? What kinds of photos do he like? I think if he's liking photos of them wearing barely anything, that's wrong and quite disrespectful. I wouldn't like it either. Has he got history of being unfaithful or messaging girls? If not, perhaps benefit of the doubt and explain why you're not ok with it but if it's a gut feel, don't ignore it x

He doesn't personally know them but go to same gym and all from around our area and yeah in past he does in previous relationship when he was a lot younger

OP posts:
Needanewnamebeingwatched · 28/08/2023 07:54

Life's too short, you sound young, get rid and find a BF who repects you.

Richmondgal · 28/08/2023 08:15

He sounds a tosser

Littlemisslonley · 28/08/2023 09:16

This would be a boundary cross for me. Following loads of girls who you don't know other than they go to same gym or whatever is unnecessary. It would make me feel uncomfortable.

Kpcs · 28/08/2023 09:21

Yeah this is a problem. It’s not like they’re celebrities. If he’s just following random local women because he finds them attractive it’s disrespectful, even more so if he’s interacting with them.

Susieb2023 · 28/08/2023 09:24

Nope, not acceptable. It’s creepy imho.

FartSock5000 · 28/08/2023 10:28

@Anon1124372 this feels wrong to you because it is.

It's not anonymous Insta-Girls he is following for wank fodder. It is local girls, some of whom you know. He is wanking off to your mates and could well be DMing them.

It feels wrong because it is. Raise your standards and throw him back. He isn't ready to be in a steady relationship. If he was, then he wouldn't need attention from other girls like this and he would be grown up enough to understand what he is doing is sleazy.

Find someone who only wants you and if you have to kiss a few frogs to find him then do that but don't settle because some floppy haired bawbag in skinny jeans gives your the chat. You are worth more and you deserve to be someone's world.

frozendaisy · 28/08/2023 10:34

And it's double standards, he questions your messages from men but he can do what he likes.

Grahambella · 28/08/2023 10:41

Married?
kids?
mortgage?
Assuming no to all the above dump him today and move on immediately.

littlebopeepp234 · 28/08/2023 11:12

Kpcs · 28/08/2023 09:21

Yeah this is a problem. It’s not like they’re celebrities. If he’s just following random local women because he finds them attractive it’s disrespectful, even more so if he’s interacting with them.

The question is why are they local? My experience of the guy who follows random women who are local is because the guy I was seeing had come across them on dating apps (that he had signed up to behind my back) while doing searches for local women. Some of them linked their instagram in their OLD profiles hence why he managed to find all these local women, all single women too! Most of these women just want the follows and have no intentions of dating any of the men who follow them, however to me it seems the intention from the men is very much there. Not saying this is the case for you but just stating my experiences of men who do this.

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