This is my favourite response to these types of threads...
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house.
His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud,
with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of
his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house.
Proceeding into the hall, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked
over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV
was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys
and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast
food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken
glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes,
looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious
had happened.
He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pajamas,
reading a novel. She looked up at him,
smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked,"What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work
and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes" was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."