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Original poster

Man Child?

24 replies

Runningforitall · 27/08/2023 09:16

Looking for opinions if possible, be kind though. DH is 55 and we have one DS who is 15.

DH is a lover of gadgets, toys and games.DH has always been a lover of Scaletrix (sp?) and my DS acquired a lot of it as a child much to DH delight. It is and has been sitting in our dining room for years in its own 'special boxes'and DS hasn't played with it since he was age 8.

DH is very resitant at DS selling itand I think he hopes son will forget about it and he can keep it for himself!

I want it gone, its constantly just sitting there doing nothing and we have no additional storage due to DH other toys. DS whilst rather laid back about his Scaletrix which various family and friends bought him for birthday/christmas, he would want to sell some of it on so he can use the money for self/savings and to buy more relevant stuff.

I am not sure if I am wrong or right here for a) wanting it out the way and allowing DS to sell some on, as it was bought for him, yes, for DS not DH to play with and b) not seeing the point in hanging onto it.

OP posts:

DustyLee123 · 27/08/2023 09:59

If it belongs to DS he can sell it, and I’d be wanting it gone too.

DustyLee123 · 27/08/2023 10:00

I seem to remember that the cars are worth more individually, the track you will probably end up ditching. I had a DH who was dealing in old toys 🙄

KohlaParasaurus · 27/08/2023 10:01

If it belongs to DS it should be for him to decide whether or not to sell it on. Maybe his dad could buy it from him if he's so set on keeping it?

Alycidon · 27/08/2023 10:02

Could your DH buy it from your DS - use eBay to find market rate?

Trenchfootinthescottishhighlandstoday · 27/08/2023 10:02

Dh can buy it then! And get a shed for the garden. Gone is the clutter and your dh - win bloody win imo!

Original poster

Runningforitall · 27/08/2023 10:05

We already have a shed, garage and attic full of DH stuff unfortunately!

OP posts:

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 27/08/2023 10:17

Runningforitall · 27/08/2023 10:05

We already have a shed, garage and attic full of DH stuff unfortunately!

Then DH sells some of his crap and uses the money and free space to buy it from DS. If he refuses to sell any of his stuff then DS sells it to others.

Out of curiosity what does DH have stored, or is it just man junk like multiple sets of the same tools but with one item missing in each set?

DosCervezas · 27/08/2023 10:18

I'm thinking neuro divergent more than man child?

Original poster

Runningforitall · 27/08/2023 10:32

@DosCervezas really? never thought of that.

@CantThinkOfANameAtAll dh would never sell his stuff unless it was on his terms and his choice. As you can understand, my priority is my DS here. No, not tools just collectables, bags, books, games etc.

OP posts:

Thelonelygiraffe · 27/08/2023 10:47

KohlaParasaurus · 27/08/2023 10:01

If it belongs to DS it should be for him to decide whether or not to sell it on. Maybe his dad could buy it from him if he's so set on keeping it?

This!

Thelonelygiraffe · 27/08/2023 10:47

Runningforitall · 27/08/2023 10:05

We already have a shed, garage and attic full of DH stuff unfortunately!

Then dh gets rid of singing if he wants to keep the Scalextric?

Thelonelygiraffe · 27/08/2023 10:48

'Gets rid of something else', not singing. On the app so can't edit!

frozendaisy · 27/08/2023 11:14

It's DS's he can sell it if he wants he's 15!

DH will just have to build a bridge and get over it.

Watchkeys · 27/08/2023 11:28

What do you mean about not being sure if you're right or wrong to want what you want? Right or wrong according to what?

If you want DS to sell it, ask him if he will. DH can have his own conversation with him, and DS will decide whether to sell it or not. Where does right or wrong come into it?

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 27/08/2023 11:42

Okay fair enough. If DS wants to sell it so he can use the money for other things then I think you need to support DS in doing that (and it's a win for you). If DH says he will buy it make your position extremely clear. It has to leave the house. Its been in the house all this time ONLY because it had to be accessible for a child to play with. Now it needs to go.

Original poster

Runningforitall · 27/08/2023 11:42

DS doesn't use/play with it but wouldn't necessarily sell if as he knows DH likes it. So, hence why I'm not sure if I'm right in wanting it gone from the sitting room and prompting DS to sell. Part of me thinks DH is a grown man and this really should not be such a big deal which is why I wanted to post here.

OP posts:

Seaoftroubles · 27/08/2023 11:50

It shouldn't be a big deal OP but is if it causes conflict. I agree that DS should have a conversation with his Dad and see if he wants to buy it it. Then ask DH to get it out of the dining room. Whether he makes space by selling some of his other hoard, or buys another shed to house it shouldn't be your problem.

Original poster

Runningforitall · 27/08/2023 13:01

DS is reluctant to have the conversation so just leaves it as he knows his Dad enjoys collecting scaletrix and clearly has/had more fun from it than DS...as a child (hence my ?man child title).

OP posts:

Watchkeys · 27/08/2023 13:42

Runningforitall · 27/08/2023 11:42

If you don't like it, you don't like it. That's it. There's no right or wrong. What happens if you disagree?

Original poster

Runningforitall · 27/08/2023 14:17

@Watchkeys it results in a very large sulk or conflict from DH who thinks I am just picking fault or conflict. He can't seem to realise I am not, I just don't see the point in having toys/collectibles.. whatever stashed on show. Not only is it difficult to clean round (have mentioned this and he said he will clean where they are, but doesn't it). It creates such an issue that I end up thinking I am the one in the wrong.

OP posts:

EarthSight · 27/08/2023 14:52

Are you sure that the real issue, except for the lack of space, is that you find the fact that he's into boys' toys at his age a big turn off?

Floogal · 27/08/2023 15:23

Was hoping this thread was about the great but overlooked Neneh Cherry song of the same name.

Sorry OP, but he sounds a bit like that guy on 40 year old virgin. Massive collection of toys still in their packaging

Original poster

Runningforitall · 27/08/2023 15:27

Haha @EarthSight well, its no so much that he still enjoys his toys and collectibles it's just the weird possession over them. It seems to cause so much conflict at the mention of them being reduced. It causes me no hardship other than them being in the way, but the oddness around his real possession over them, and indeed certain items of my DS. It's not even the sentimental issues here or just my DS items, just certain objects. Very odd.

OP posts:

Watchkeys · 27/08/2023 17:18

But you can't be in the wrong. There are no rules about whether we are supposed to have/display items like this. Do you think he's wrong to want to? Or do you think you simply disagree?

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