Would this man want to form a committed relationship at this stage?

[Wishfulthinkingmaybe1]

I've got to know a man recently through friends, he's 60, I'm mid-40s. He's never been married, no children, lots of short relationships, never lived with anyone, goes from one relationship to the next (according to these friends), not too bothered when they end, but all seem to be ended by him.

I'd like to meet someone now for a serious relationship, am not into time wasters or people messing me about, having experienced this before.

He seems quite extrovert, confident, always cracking jokes, very sure of himself.

I suppose my question is, is he likely to want something serious at his age or is his previous pattern likely to continue?

Nobody can know for sure- but I would go with no.

Yes, his previous pattern is likely to continue.

Either that or he is looking for someone to look after him in his old age. Enjoy his company on a light note and try not to get serious.

Given his lifelong history, I don't think I'd hold out any hopes on this particular leopard changing his spots.

If he's lived alone up to 60 then he's probably quite happy living alone to be honest. He would probably find his boundaries being invaded if he had to live with someone now. There is of course no rule if you are in a relationship that you have to live with eachother though.

The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour

So, no.

Only he knows.
He is not a generic person. He is him so waste no time and if you like him put the question to him.
Hld no hope if he says no.
Hold little hope if he says maybe or yes ..
Perhaps he had a flaw that showed up very early on on his other relationships.

“The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour”

This.

He may be looking for you to be his old age nurse.
Seriously he's way too old for you. Also, are you going to want to be intimate with a guy who so much older than you?

nope

Hie previous lifestyle and his age would make me say no.

People do not change, OP.
Patterns persist.
if he had done massive amounts of therapy and was determined to be able to commit, that’s one thing - but he’s not at all bothered, well, you’d be standing in line to be the next one discarded easily.

pass on this one

His past behaviour is a very good indicator of how any relationship will pan out. If he wants something serious/different from relationships at his age after all this time there will be an ulterior motive. Yes, I appreciate this is very cynical but suspect I am right.

What would you want to date a 60 year old at your age?

Also, he is unlikely to change his behaviour now after a lifetime of short term relationships.

Seriously raise your standards and don't waste anymore time on this one.

He's 60. He is most definitely never going to change. Don't fall for thinking that you might be the one that he's been searching for and anything will change

Deffo no change at that age.

That was my first thought too.

The age difference might not seem much now, but just wait a few years...

Thanks for the helpful advice. He also seems to drink quite a lot at times - I do like a couple of beers but am not a big drinker.

I’m sure you can do better!

Sounds like a bad bet unless you just want a fling.

Raise your bar a lot higher than the floor level its currently at. Why would you in your mid 40s want to go out with a 60 year old drinker anyway?. His drinking also appears to be a red flag.

It doesn’t look like does it?

I know a guy like this whose 40 - put it this way, it's obviously to everyone around him why the relationships ended, he would claim it was his choice but...

Obviously not op.

Having now enjoyed the absolute bliss and freedom that comes along with single life; I would very much doubt he wants to change his life. Why would he? It's easy to get sex for him, and then you also get freedom too. Being single is an absolutely luxury that not everyone can afford, both financially or mentally.

I would also suggest that if he does want to commit, it isn't because he's finally found the one (you), it's because he's realised he might need a nurse soon.

I'd like to meet someone now for a serious relationship, am not into time wasters or people messing me about, having experienced this before.

Then he's thoroughly incompatible. Even more so with the drinking thing. You need someone actively interested in a serious relationship, with a history of being inclined towards such things, who drinks less and a fair bit younger ideally.

I wasn't considering the age gap so much but a few of you mentioned it, so obviously it's a consideration also, but everything combined I'll give this one a miss, I think.