My partner of 18 years, who is 30 years older than me met when I was 17 and he was 47.
He got some inheritance from his father quite a few thousand about 5 years ago.
He has always been in control of the money, after 16 years I finally have a bank account (I know that this wasn't normal couple behaviour not letting me have access to money and took a long time for him to actually allow a bank account a shared one before I would ask for money and give in detail everything I was buying and how much it cost).
I know that his father left him the money, we're not married. But he regularly spends hundreds every month on his hobby there is packages coming though the post every few days.
I on the other hand how to make sure to that the bills are paid, children have everything they need and have treats out ect
And even if he gets a parking/speeding fine he will take it out of the shared money and then on the same day spend £350 out of his own bank account on something for himself. And he insists that he has £50 each week out of our shared money to spend on his hobby. Whist also spending hundreds out of his own account.
If I bring it up he'll get all defensive and start shouting he can do whatever he likes with his money.
Even now he'll ring me up when he's out ( I dread my ringtone) and start going on at me about the money in our shared account going on and on at me until I have to explain what I've brought and why we needed it, like they other day I needed to get my daughter I scientific calculator, he wasn't happy.
I know this isn't normal couple behaviour, I just needed to tell someone, I am really isolated, telling someone in person would be to scary, to admit that I live like this.
I wondered if anyone had any ways how I should go about this.