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Relationships

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What a waste of time

8 replies

InOut2023 · 25/08/2023 07:50

I have spent the best past of six months talking to a woman (I am also a woman) and I feel like it’s been a complete and utter waste of time.

It started well, or so I thought, but she was actually keeping unnecessary things from me.

I should have walked back then, but I stupidly didn’t, because she was the first person I had properly liked since my ex four years ago. That plus the potential I thought I could see (stupid I know).

Now I have been accused of getting to know someone else right under her nose, and was told she won’t be made a fool of so it’s done.

After many questions, she told me why, and I categorically told her it was not true (because it isn’t). She believes the other persons actions to be shady, and is as a result saying she is unsure whether or not she can do it.

I have told told her punishing me for someone else’s actions, is really unfair and tbh I am just so done with it myself. It’s always one thing after the next and so I have just said let’s call it quits. Not something I wanted to say, because I hate knowing my time has been wasted but I really cannot do it anymore.

I guess my post is because I’m seeking reassurance I have done the right thing, and to help me basically go NC with her.

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
AuntieEsther · 25/08/2023 07:53

Talking? Not dating?
I think 6 months of not even dating is a waste of time tbh but if she's accusing you of cheating already and you haven't, as well as lying to you, it's a non starter!

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 25/08/2023 08:12

Lucky escape, move on

InOut2023 · 25/08/2023 08:29

Talking initially and then on to dating, spending time with each other and going out for food. I am disappointed in myself for wasting my own time!

OP posts:
AuntieEsther · 25/08/2023 08:41

InOut2023 · 25/08/2023 08:29

Talking initially and then on to dating, spending time with each other and going out for food. I am disappointed in myself for wasting my own time!

Why do you feel you wasted your time? Is it because you ignored red flags? Dating someone and not having it turn into a relationship isn't wasting time in itself.

InOut2023 · 25/08/2023 08:45

AuntieEsther · 25/08/2023 08:41

Why do you feel you wasted your time? Is it because you ignored red flags? Dating someone and not having it turn into a relationship isn't wasting time in itself.

Yes ignored the red flags and for me there should be some progression at six months. I haven’t really ever once felt secure this whole time, always waited for the next issue to crop up.

OP posts:
AuntieEsther · 25/08/2023 09:00

It's not a waste of time then it's a life lesson :)

yellowsmileyface · 25/08/2023 09:35

Some people have spent upwards of ten years ignoring red flags. Six months really isn't that long in the grand scheme of relationships.

I know it's gutting to realise you're not going to get what you were hoping for or expecting from a particular relationship, but I don't think you should feel too bad about the wasted time. Part of the purpose of dating is to figure out what does and doesn't work for you. The vast majority of the time dating will end in breaking up. It doesn't necessarily mean you've wasted your time.

InOut2023 · 26/08/2023 08:11

Thanks for your replies. You’re correct it is a life lesson and six months in the grand scheme of life isn’t too long.

I just think the reason why I am disappointed in myself for wasting these six months, is because she showed me three months in who she really is and I chose to ignore it ☹️

I guess that’s what I really need to answer. Is it my self esteem, loneliness, self worth, etc.

OP posts:
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