My relationship is falling apart!!

[Tiredmomma01]

So me and my partner have been together for 7 years.
we have a 3 year old and now a newborn.
we have never been the best at communicating and have had many arguments previously but nothing out of the ordinary. However, since I’ve become pregnant with our second baby we have been arguing CONSTANTLY, about small things and big things but he always says I’m to blame.
He will shout and swear in front of our daughter and I will tell him to leave the house and he will spin that as me kicking him out of his house. When we argue I go to sleep upstairs and he stays downstairs and says I don’t let him sleep in his room (he likes to watch tv and he never bothers to come up?)
He will say he’s taking my daughter because I’m not stable, he will record me when I’m at my most vulnerable and will say he can use that in court!
and best of all, he now wants a DNA test for our second baby because we’ve been arguing! I agreed to it because I have nothing to hide but I feel like our relationship is over. Even when we are ‘fine’ it feels like we’re roommates? There’s no intimacy, he hardly ever sleeps in the same bed, no hugs nothing.

should I be thinking of leaving? How would I do it with 2kids on my own?! Also we’re tied to a house for another 11 months because we signed a contract and we can’t leave. I’m so lost

This relationship is toxic. Kick him out and put a claim in for UC asap.
have a look online at the entitledto website to see how much you could claim if you were single.
He sounds dreadful to be with and I wouldn’t stay at all

Your poor daughter, seeing her dad shouting and swearing. Either he could undertake some anger management training, or you end it for you - but also for her sake to show her that's not acceptable.

Anger management courses are no answer to domestic violence which is what is being described here. He has a problem with anger, Ops anger, when she calls him out on his unreasonable behaviour.

Women’s aid can also help you, do contact them.

Contact Shelter and or the Rights of women re the tenancy agreement

She can’t just kick him out. He is on the lease.

Contact women’s aid.

Both of you have to be kinder and treat each other with better respect while you are sharing a house.
No arguing or swearing in front of the children.
Try to see a mediator to help you work out your future.

An anger management course and a communication course might be a start. Living together or not you both have to negotiate your children's care for the next eighteen years.
Can you speak to your GP for advice.

I have tried to speak to him about not shouting in front of our daughter but he doesn’t listen. And yes, I sometimes get wound up too which I feel terrible about but how much can I take before I snap? I try my god damn hardest to not shout but sometimes I just burst.
whenever we argue he will literally turn to our daughter and say things like mommy doesn’t like daddy, mommy is kicking daddy out, mommy is being horrible etc.
and now she has gone to nursery saying mommy shouted at daddy and he cried, of course no one bothers to mention mommy just had enough and she broke down and shouted. He always blames me for everything

Shouting aside, what he's saying to your daughter and recording you during rows ( I assume he goes very quiet and innocent once he's created the scene) sounds like emotional abuse. It's terrible for you, but there's a child and a newborn who are developmentally at the most important stage of life. Being around stress like this and their mum being in your position needs addressing asap.

Spend as little time around him as you can. Don't engage with him when you are in his company. Contact Women's Aid.

This is an abusive relationship, and if you try to make it 'normal', you are demonstrating to a very impressionable youngster that that's what you do when you encounter an abuser: you stick around, you try to act like normal, you try to make it ok. Is that what you want her to learn from you?

No, of course I want her to grow up to be independent and have respect for herself. It’s so difficult because I don’t know what to do about the house? Our agency said one of us can’t stay either because we don’t earn enough or need a guarantor and neither of us have one. I’d be loosing the house my babies grew up in and I know it’s petty to hold onto that but still hurts. I also have no where to go and I don’t know if woman’s aid can help with that? I also don’t want to stop him from seeing the kids because he loves them and he’s great with our eldest and I don’t know if that’s something woman’s aid would be against? Me having contact? I don’t know I’m at a loss. I feel like packing my bags and just standing with a suitcase at my council/housing association to get something asap