How long before you stop thinking about an ex completely?

[YorkshireC]

We broke up 2.5 years ago after 5 years together. I would never go back there, I'm past the heartbreak stage, but he still comes into my thoughts regularly - more so the horrible way it all ended. It's definitely lessened though. Although I've only bumped into him once since, we've mutual friends, which I've found hard at times. Is it unusual for him to still pop into my head?

I was having an imaginary conversation with my ex today. A year on, I still miss him lots.

The man I'm currently seeing hasn't got over his ex from 15 years ago.

I'm don't want to be in his position in 15 years time 😔

I’ve always thought of my ex ( of 20+ years ago) and reminded myself how awful he was.
So I’d never get trapped again.
So I’d recognised the red flags if I see them again.
So I know I’ve learnt from the ( horrible) experience.

it’s not always a bad thing to think of them as long as they don’t dominate yoyr thoughts.

I think it's the way they pop into your head and the feelings that generates. Wistfully remembering the good times. Going over what went wrong. Wishing you were back together. (when with someone new) thinking "well x wouldn't have done that".

You know you're over them when they pop into your head in a "someone I used to know" way with no emotions attached to it. Eg. because something happened that reminded you of them. You spend a moment thinking about that and feel nothing, it's just a fond memory.

I'm not quite sure what the feeling is when you bump into them (shock/surprise?) but I do think it's normal to react internally/emotionally no matter how much you're over them.

If the ex was abusive then that's a different kind of head-space they're taking up as your mind tries to work through the unresolved issues.

The only other thing I would say is really to hold your dignity. I loved telling everyone what a dick he was ( and he really did do something pretty terrible). However looking back I must have sounded a bit pathetic and still loved up. I really wish I had just been quiet about the break up and come across as strong and brave rather than bitter and wronged.

I'm happily married but still sometimes think about my ex