Is my partner going too far with this

[karlaka]

My partner and I would like to explore sexually with others and have fun together. We have a joint profile on a platform (no pictures of us and no real names).
My boufriend showed me a guy on that platform. He said that this guy used to be a friends-with benefits of his ex-girlfriend back in the days. He does not know him personally. I said that I would prefer to stay out of that. My friend agreed with me and said that it's too complicated.
However, I have noticed that my bf has been chatting with him again and even asked if he uses Telegram, as it would make it easier to continue the conversation.
Do you think my bf is going too far with this? After all, I have no interest in this guy and I don't want to let anyone into my life who had previous contact with my partner's ex-girlfriend.

Yes, he's going way too far.

You said you weren't interested, that should have been the end of it.

He's about to pressure you and continue to run roughshod over your boundaries.

Yes he is. If you’re going to get into swinging then it’s absolutely vital that your partner respects your boundaries (and you his).

It’ll wreck your relationship if he doesn’t. And at such an early stage it’s a massive red flag.

Yep, he's ignoring your boundaries before you've even started.

This has got disaster written all over it.

There’s a zillion other guys that would be game. Why this one?

You should be the one choosing the guys not him.

I generally don't mind him doing the hard work

@karlaka open your eyes.

He is already pushing at your boundaries. Your NO was the end of that conversation.

For you to have a happy, healthy polygamous relationship the respect and trust has to be rock solid.

You don't have that. You have a horny boyf who wants to get off on watching you with someone he knows and he doesn't really care how you think or feel.

Its got disaster all over it already.

@karlaka you don’t seem that interested in it to be honest.
is this a new relationship?

Is easier to continue talking to this guy on the platform? To what end. Be prepared for some bs that will involve an ‘innocent’ meet up. The type of endeavour you are imaging will end in disaster with someone who doesn’t understand boundaries, you’ve been warned.

A man who doesn’t take your ‘no’ for an answer, whatever the situation, needs putting in the bin. Immediately.

Him doing the work only works if he takes heed of your wishes.

And if it’s Fab you’re on many people won’t be interested in a new couple where only the guy is involved in the planning - it screams of either the woman not actually being interested or not existing.

I also suspect there is an element of wanting it to get back to his ex girlfriend what you two now do…

what do you mean? You think my bf wants his ex gf back?

Lots of men on the swinging scene (and actually men in general enjoy making exes jealous) like their ex partners to know they now have a partner who is into it and they’re having fun. The “I’m having soooo much fun without you” vibe if you like.

Yeah I think it has something to do with his ex or if it's a cuck fantasy then maybe it's to do with him being able to um picture things better with a guy he kinda knows ect or like others said it's to get back to his ex.