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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i am having a panic attack right now

13 replies

newmummy27 · 29/02/2008 20:18

i have been posting for a while, i have PND but just being anywhere near my husband is giving me panic attacks. at this moment, i cant think straight, i feel panic, i feel faint, dizzy. i am fine with baby on my own but the thought of him coming home and the arguing and him blowing this up out of proportion is sending me into panic attacks instead of shouting i have comme upstairs and am lying on the bed on here. he is downstairs with baby and just leaves me. when i hear baby cry i want to go to him but dont feel i can with husband there as i dont want to start arguing. i think i am suffering with emotional abuse, i am not sure

OP posts:
Rubyrubyruby · 29/02/2008 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Califrau · 29/02/2008 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
newmummy27 · 29/02/2008 20:27

i really dont feel well enough to, i feel so dizzy, the way i feel i dont think i could talk to anyone, i dont think i would be coherant iyswim

OP posts:
Original poster
newmummy27 · 29/02/2008 20:30

yes i have seen GP and am getting help. i am ok on and off in the week but i have been living with constant stress all the way through the pregnancy and now 15 weeks after the birth. i am sure i cant take it any longer. dont worry i would never do anything stupid, but my mental health is really suffering. i love baby to bits, i am not sure i can stay in relationship though

OP posts:
ally90 · 29/02/2008 20:39

You poor thing! No real advice just sympathy. It sounds like emotional abuse if you are having such a severe reaction...

Something I just found...

Verbal Abuse

When thinking of Verbal Abuse we tend to envisage the abuser hurling insulting names at the victim, and while this obviously does happen, there are many more forms than name-calling. The abuser may use critical, insulting or humiliating remarks (e.g. you've got a mind like ditchwater; you're stupid; etc.), he may withhold conversation and refuse to discuss issues, or he may keep you up all night insisting on talking when you need sleep. Verbal abuse undermines your sense of worth, your self-concept (i.e. who you think you are) by discounting your ideals, opinions or beliefs.

Verbal abuse can include:

  • yelling or shouting at you
  • making threats
  • insulting you or your family
  • being sarcastic or mocking about or criticising your interests, opinions or beliefs
  • humiliating you either in private or in company
  • sneering, growling, name-calling
  • withholding approval, appreciation, or conversation
  • refusing to discuss issues which are important to you
  • laughing or making fun of you inappropriately
  • leaving nasty messages
  • accusing you of unfaithfulness, not trying hard enough or purposely doing something to annoy
  • blaming you for his failures or other forms of abuse

All of these abusive behaviors prohibit normal, healthy interaction between two adults as well as a lack of respect for individual thoughts, feelings, and opinions. A healthy, mutual interaction and conversation between two persons respects and promotes the right of each partner to their own individual thoughts, perceptions and values.

ally90 · 29/02/2008 20:43

www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Resources/helplines.htm

Original poster
newmummy27 · 29/02/2008 20:53

yes this is happening. i think i will show him this now. i really dont think he realises what an effect this is having on me

OP posts:
ally90 · 29/02/2008 20:58

If you are still there, perhaps in the morning when you have all day to talk of it and friends/family will be up and about to ring/go see?

dizietsma · 29/02/2008 21:01

Breathe out longer than you're breathing in- 5 seconds in, 7 seconds out. It's a trick my tutor told me about when I was suffering panic attacks. It's something you do when relieved (ie- sigh) and tricks your autonomic system into believing you're relaxing.

[http://self-injury.net/stopping/?distractions Here's a list of things you can do to help] that a friend of mine who self-harms sent to me when I was having panic attacks. A lot of 'em are transferrable techniques, try 'em all until you find one that works.

dizietsma · 29/02/2008 21:02

Here's a list of things you can do to help

Here's the link!

Original poster
newmummy27 · 29/02/2008 21:24

thanks, i have just made something to eat for us both and i have been civil and come back upstairs. i still feel panicy but not as bad as before.. i am going to look at the list now

OP posts:
TLV · 29/02/2008 21:55

i hope you are ok newmummy, and ally90 that list has really enlightened me, looking at it i see some of the things my x has been doing to me

Original poster
newmummy27 · 29/02/2008 22:05

hi, i am still here, in fact i am upstairs and am writing a letter to him, i just have to stay out of his way at the moment. he has baby downstairs

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