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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can’t see a way out

1 reply

Lolasyms · 24/08/2023 09:01

I’ve been with my husband since late teens and married for 8 years, we have 2 DC. The relationship has been quite turbulent and his behaviour has made me quite unhappy in the relationship. A few months ago we split after months of arguing and just generally not getting on. For one reason or another we got back together, I did struggle with the feeling of letting go of the relationship but mostly the logistics of ending the relationship seem too much. For reasons i won’t go into, if we split we would both need to leave the family home. He would get given accommodation through his work, however I would need to rent. The rent in this area is expensive, and I work a pretty poorly paid job as it’s always worked around the children and allowed him to fufill his career. I don’t see how I can get out. Logistically I would risk being put in temporary accommodation with the children if I left, I really don’t want to uproot their lives and how they’re used to living, but the relationship makes me so unhappy.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 24/08/2023 09:15

Well - given you facilitated his career and have now lost earning potential - you might get either spousal maintenance or a greater split than 50/50 of the assets which will help you respectively with a mortgage or house deposit.

I received Spousal maintenance (and still do) when I got divorced 2 years ago. Same reasons. The mediators worked out what we both 'needed' given our respective salaries to house our children, and my deficit and his surplus was evened out somewhat with SM.

All is not lost, I'd see a solicitor if I were you.

Or give us your numbers, we can help. Flowers

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