Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bit sad

2 replies

feduptoday48 · 23/08/2023 10:22

I was dating someone who is a ex addict ( coke ) , as we went on and he revealed more about himself he told me he had therapy weekly which I see as healthy , he said he had attempted suicide before and been to rehab.
then he started sleeping in a lot on a Saturday and sometimes the Sunday due to feeling depressed and told me he really was finding life hard and resisting the urge to I get some coke ( tho he didn’t ).
Then he saw me on my
Birthday evening , took me to the pub , I paid for a shitty hotel for the night , he didn’t have time he said to get me a card as it was all last minute arranged , I got a bit too drunk and told him he should of got me a card and that he was being a bit selfish sleeping in every weekend ,
Fast forward and his ”walls “ are apparently up , I’ve hurt him and he wants me to wait for him to sort himself out as he does this , puts them up and shuts down.
I’ve decided to walk away because I was feeling unsure of where I stood and his words looking back didn’t Align with how he was acting.
Why would someone though still suffering so much “trauma “
From their past go back on the dating scene ? I wish I hadn’t of got involved but a lesson learned , I think I also was a bit love bombed looking back , I followed the rules all except the dating other people and I did fall really fast for this guy
Just wondering what you guys think as I’m trying to move forward and not keep in contact with him

OP posts:
roses321 · 23/08/2023 10:34

To be honest you did the right thing walking away, this guy has too much going on for him right now, he cannot give you what you need, he's struggling to even give himself what he needs to be honest. I think what you've suggested is 100% the right decision but yes it will upset you I know. It's definitely the right thing from where i'm standing.

yellowsmileyface · 23/08/2023 13:01

This relationship isn't for you. He's not ready to be in a relationship. He doesn't get to be in one and expect his partner to just not have any expectations whilst he works on himself.

When someone's dealing with addiction and trauma, it's impossible to have a healthy relationship whilst sorting out their issues. They have to do the work first.

I know it's hard to walk away but you did the right thing. If you think you'll be tempted to get back with him, block and delete his number.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page