Disappointed with sister’s reaction

[Hemmingtownguy]

Wasn’t sure where to post but could do with being told if I’m unreasonable to feel this way..
I had a baby 9 days ago, my sister is 7 months pregnant. We’ve been through the journey together and formed a close bond over our babies, shopping for them together etc.
When I announced my DD birth my sister was the only person who didn’t say congratulations, ask any questions or even so much as say my baby was cute etc as people generally do. I didn’t take any notice at first, but 9 days on I’m feeling a bit disappointed that she has shown no interest in her niece and hasn’t even come to meet her.
We have no extended family or parents so she is my only family link and I assumed we’d continue a close bond when the baby’s arrive and have each other to grow up with. We both have older children we didn’t get a chance to do this with as we lived far apart at that time.
Even post partum I’m asking how her pregnancy is and getting nothing back. I know she isn’t trying to give me space as she is still texting me but not about my baby. It’s making me want to distance from her completely and accept that I will only have DH and his family as support as it feels she is purposely being cold.

Im not sure the best way to react to this, whether to ask her if there is an issue or forget and move on? I don’t want to be petty but I’m inclined to treat her the same when her baby arrives, despite having spent a fortune on her baby and organising and paying for her gender reveal party (I didn’t have one and don’t like them but she asked if I’d help as a birthday gift).
I know no one should expect a fuss, but the reaction from DH family has floored me because they’ve been fantastic and it would have been nice to share my happy news with my own relative too.
Thoughts?

I felt very left behind when friends who were also pregnant gave birth before me. I would hold fire until you can see how things settle, given that she's your sister. She's behaving badly though but sisters do that sometimes.

Is she stropping as she wasn’t the first person to find out?
Was she expecting to be there at the north maybe?
does she expect to be god mother but hadn’t been asked?
have you named your baby what she planned to?
had she hoped to be the one to give birth first?
do you have a man but she doesn’t?
just thinking of reasons she might have gone quiet

Perhaps she is a bit jealous that your baby is here already and she’s still heavily pregnant, maybe she’s worried your baby is so cute that hers won’t be and people will compare… there could be so many reasons.

I would just ask her, explain how it’s made you feel and that you were looking forward to her being part of the babies life. She might say nothing is wrong, in which case just say okay and focus on your baby. Maybe as time passes she will resolve her own issues and reconnect. Don’t count her out yet though, just give it time

Yeh, don't REACT right now. Just concentrate on your baby. Within a year, two months will be nothing at all but right now it seems like a big gap.
I hope nothing bad has happened. Is there any possibility she's trying not to spoil your glow with sad news?

She might be terrified of labour, birth, actually being a mum.. and now you’re out the other side, she’s not ready to face you, or your lovely baby?

Maybe she's scared, doesn't want to hear about labour or the hard parts?

“Hey sis is everything ok? I’m feeling a bit hurt you haven’t said congrats or shown any interest in your niece. Can we have a chat? X”

I need you need to ask her in a gentle way what's up. Not to be accusing, but just to ask if she's ok. She could be being a moody so and so, or she could be worried. You won't know until you ask.

I initially thought it’s because it’s freaked her out - the birth, motherhood etc. But you say she already has older children, so I don’t think it can be anything like that.

My next thought is that you have ‘stolen’ her baby name. There have been enough threads on here to show how crazy some mums get over ‘stolen’ names.

Or - has she got girls and wanted a boy and you have had a boy? Or vice versa?

I think there just be a specific reason.

Sounds like she's got the hump about something.

when I was pregnant with ds2 at the same time as a few other people (none of us with our first) I was quite anxious about my baby making it and it definitely spiked when they announced their babies had arrived and all gone well. I couldn’t imagine that would be me!

do try to talk to her but also I couldn’t have articulated these feelings at the time (it was seven years go.

perfect ....

Exactly!

Congratulations on your new baby.
This sounds a very odd reaction from your sister, especially if you've been close and supportive of each other up to now. I would just message her and ask if everything is OK. She may be having problems or is struggling with something related to her own pregnancy, so best to ask and find out.

Same. My sister was so excited throughout my pregnancy and right up until the birth. Then radio silence, and every time I see her she takes zero interest in the baby. She hasn't said anything but is giving off real negative vibes. It's pretty odd and upsetting and she denies anything is wrong but she literally ignores my daughter every time we meet. Just have to let her get on with it really.

Does she know gender of her baby? Just wondering if maybe she is jealous you had a girl?

Thanks everyone, nothing that stands out as being an issue. She’s having a boy which she wanted as she has a girl already, so no name stealing or gender jealousy.
I guess she could be fed up with the pregnancy and wants it to end, but seems an odd reaction as generally she’d complain about having a hard time rather than bottle it up and give me the cold shoulder.
She was also the first person to find out as I was so excited to tell her after everything, yet she was the last to respond and with nothing positive to say.

I had a friend who on her final pregnancy hated anyone who gave birth before her, hated anyone asking about her pregnancy, hated anyone asking how she was and generally hated most people during the last trimester of her pregnancy. No idea why as she was fine with her other pregnancies. Once she had the baby she was fine again. Maybe your sister is going through similar?

Definitely weird.
Has something happened to her boy in utero?