Can you successfully save a marriage that is on the verge of divorce?

[mamatothreebunnies]

I’d love to hear real life experiences of people who managed to save their very troubled marriage, despite deep rooted issues (no infidelity). How did you do it? How long did it take to be back to “normal”.

3 kids in, 20 years relationship, married 13. High school love. Just feels like we’ve grown up to be very different people with different values and life goals.

Yes. You can. My husband and I did it. 26 year relationship, married 21 almost cracked under the pressure of an incredibly serious family trauma involving our teenage child. Be under no illusions though, it was without doubt the hardest most difficult time in my entire life and there were times over the two years it took to get us back on track that I was close to giving up. It has to be both of you working at it though. One person cannot fix it alone. My husband who 12 months earlier would have told people to man up if they had suggested therapy to him really benefitted from it, As did I. We were both brutally honest about our issues and how we felt, this made things feel much worse initially before they got better...but that honesty-whilst searingly difficult was also cleansing and felt like we could both breathe again. We are very much in love again and feels like we have a deeper connection than ever and I feel so lucky and fortunate to have come out the other side, not unscathed but very happy. What ever happens I wish you all the best. Take care.

@mamatothreebunnies you're better off talking to a professional about this one. No one on here has all the facts and only one perspective of the relationship. What you have provided is relatively high level and its a massive life altering decision you are facing.
If he committed an obvious dealbreaker like cheating, then yes, leave immediately.

After reading your first post: maybe.
After reading your second: maybe, but for the sake of the children, please don’t.