Stalking ex or am I overreacting?

[kalisimera]

Ex and I split up 18 months ago. We were together for 3.5 years ish and he moved in with me so we lived together for about the last 18 months of the relationship . I ended it as found it very difficult to adapt to living with someone having been on my own for a long time previously- I'd had a few boyfriends over the years but never a live-in one, he was very upset but moved on and met someone 6 weeks later and is now engaged. I was pleased as I was relieved he'd moved on. I am still single.
We stayed friends for a while but that ceased in January due to boundaries being pushed, and I didn't feel we could carry on being friends.
The problem is now that I feel he is stalking me, if not full-on stalking then certainly frequenting places he knows I'll be. And it came to a head this morning. I left home at 6am as usual, and as I was driving past a gateway about 300m from my house, and this is one of our gateways (family farm), he was parked in the gateway, taking photos across the field. He lives 25 mins away! Surely there are plenty of places he could go to take photos without driving past my house at 6am and knowing that my route at that time would pass him?!
I text him this afternoon and asked him not to do this and said his behaviour was weird, creepy and frankly stalkerish, and to not do this or communicate with me again. He responded by saying sorry if he had caused upset but he was just taking photos of a lovely sunrise. Ffs. He even sent me the fucking photo.
I'm not sure what to do now... police seems a bit extreme but if he does this again, I may have to? It was unsettling and disturbing and what he did felt intrusive. Or maybe I'm overreacting and should just feel pleased that he wants to take pictures of sunrises across our fields?! Wwyd?

You said about him frequenting places he knows you’ll be… so where else has he popped up?

Nearby town, which isn't his nearest town. I collect ds from the bus four days a week during term time, so it makes sense to pick up any groceries that I need at this time. I bump into him there more than anyone else, even people who live in said town... sometimes two or thee times a week.

That does sound very odd and if he frequents there more since you’ve broken up than before you got together, then it would appear he is hoping to bump into you which isn’t right at all. Especially if he continues doing this after the message you sent to him.

I would be inclined to get advice from here:

Support organisationsYou can get advice from the National Stalking Helpline.
National Stalking Helpline
Telephone: 802 0300 0808 802 0300
Monday to Friday, 9:30am to 4pm (except Wednesday 9:30am to 8pm) National Stalking Helpline
Find out about call charges

Gosh this is so creepy, stay safe, I would log report with police just in case he does it again

Thank you both. I'm still unsure what to do but feel so angry at his response to my text, totally trivialising the situation by sending me a photo of the sunrise. Where he lives is probably more picturesque than where I live!! just can't imagine what is going through his head or what he is trying to achieve? I guess he wants an excuse to drive past my house so early just to have a nosy and see if there are any other cars in the drive etc to ascertain whether I've got someone else? But we've been split for 18 months, if I had so what?! I'm pissed off that I'm even having to give him headspace.

i would get a police report done and if possible get police check carried out on him like a clare's law. if he is stalking you then the more reports u do the better. start it now and then if he shows up near u again tell
him straight out you are reporting him. they play on fear and control. document every single time u see him. it may all be a coincidence but if u do think them for sure he stalking you you need all the evidence u can get.

Well you've told him now so he knows you're onto him. Hopefully that'll shake him off.

But get yourself a camera doorbell. And maybe more cameras on the property. Make sure you've changed your locks since when he last lived there incase he has a spare key. And keep not of any further appearances.

Don't be slow to go to the police if it continues.

Block him!

https://www.suzylamplugh.org/am-i-being-stalked-tool

The Suzy Lamplugh Trust and Palladian have excellent advice for people who are being stalked. Keep a record of every so-called chance encounter and talk to the police. Let someone you trust know what’s been going on as well.

Police, all the way. Being in one of your gates at that time of day is extremely weird.

Bloody autocorrect - Paladin!!

https://www.paladinservice.co.uk/

Once I realised I was bumping into him more often than normal in nearby town I started keeping a note in my diary. That was what first started giving me prickles of unease. But this gateway business is ramping it up a few notches... there is no one else around at that time. I think he really wanted the opportunity to talk to me with no one else there. Normally I would have set off on foot and would have been aiming for said gateway but I happened to have someone else with me so I dropped them off to fetch the cows whilst I headed on round to the farm. He saw me approach by car with passenger, and pulled away sharpish. But if there is a next time, I will likely be on my own which is worrying. But having warned him I will definitely call the police and have the stalking logged if it happens again.