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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

‘He’s just not that into you’ - were you the exception?

2 replies

Undertheduvett · 21/08/2023 11:45

A lighthearted thread as I’m just married and reflecting / thinking about love!

I liked the ‘He’s just not that into you’ book/film when I was single as when I was early 20s I had form for chasing disinterested men and then wondering why everyone else had lovely boyfriends who were super into them 🤣. Some parts are probably a bit dated but I think the premise of mutual interest being there is a golden one.

The part where a man is treating a woman badly eg he’s already married and a friend chimes in with “well I know a couple who were in the same place and he left his wife….” (I.e. ‘the exception’) is so relatable as for instance I’d tell a friend oh I’m not happy with this I think it’s a red flag eg he’s being very flaky then thry would try to talk me out of it! (I was always right) I never used to believe I’d be the exception when they were being a dick as I don’t think that’s healthy.

Recently though I realised with my now husband I am the exception as per this book / film 🤣. Due to being hurt/manipulated/deceived my now husband prior to me didn’t want any more kids, didn’t want a relationship, didn’t want to get married. For similar reasons I didn’t want a relationship, didn’t want to love with a man or get married.

I was told by a mutual friend he didn’t want a relationship or something to that effect but I didn’t care as neither did I. I agreed to a date with him as I found him very attractive (a girl has got to eat!) and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. We both changed our minds on everything with no pressure!

So. Were you the exception? Do you know someone who was the exception? I love a good love story - please share! ❤️

OP posts:
loveacuddle1 · 22/08/2023 00:39

No, sadly not for me, even though I thought I could be the exception.
I was recently in a situationship and developed feelings and really felt I was perfect for this guy and we’d be good together. I told him how I felt only to be told he did not want a relationship. He couldn’t have been clearer ☹️

TwoShyShy · 22/08/2023 08:54

I don't think I know if anyone who said they didn't want marriage and kids to the same woman and then had those things with the same woman. I do know of men saying this to their ex then moving on with a younger woman and giving her all those things.

I don't think your story reflects the film I think what happened is you both wanted the same thing: no serious commitment and then you both came to want commitment together later.
With he's not that into you I think it's if one wants more than the other. You both wanted the same non-committal thing.

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