So long story short, I left in May this year and have been living in a room share ever since. I'm 39 and he's 8 years older.
He was verbally and mentally abusive and it got too much (I was too scared to even cook dinner in my kitchen without him starting on me) so one day I just packed up my shit and left, got legal advice regarding mortgage payments and basically told him that if he paid the mortgage I wouldn't claim occupational rent - he refused to leave the house despite ending things with me (which he did because I went to the police about his behaviour after he relentlessly followed me around the house and I had to lock myself in bathrooms or stay with my family).
He doesn't accept responsibility for anything that happened and says I left of my own free will and never had to, well, I did because my mental health was being destroyed and I would have lost my job because I couldn't function.
I'm much happier now mentally at least, but we're having to deal with a mis-selling situation and a dispute with the neighbours which was in progress before we bought the house (the sellers lied to us about it and witheld information).
I've been pushing the legal process along while my ex has done frankly nothing. I've organised absolutely everything regarding this and he's been copied in on everything.
He is doing the following.
Emailing me to tell me that unless i speak to him first I am not to talk to our solicitors about the mis-sale without speaking to him first. If I do then I'll be liable for all payments.
He's doing this despite the fact he's copied into every email and could easily respond with his feedback which he doesn't.
Emailing me to tell me that he's making changes to our house (i'm a joint owner) and that I can't do anything about it and that when it's sold I won't benefit from any of those changes if it adds to the value of the house.
I've told him that if he wants to change the equity split then he needs to take me to court as it's currently a 50/50 joint split.
He's telling me that i'm toxic and controlling and that he's not accepting anymore of my disgusting behaviour. I'm simply dealing with him factually and not arguing with him at all, but he's threatening me with a solicitor but I haven't heard from them - I've been told by multiple people to ignore him and his threats.
He was threatening to take me to court for not cleaning adequately and "letting the house go into disrepair" before I left (because I was basically living in the bedroom whenever arguments would happen to get away from him and he had the monopoly on our living areas).
He's compared me to Amber Heard, told me i'm a narcissist, called me names and I also found evidence of him being involved with a coworker when I went back to get my stuff.
He's threatened to have me locked out of the house for going back to get my things without informing him and getting his permission first (this was back when I was still paying the mortgage).
What I don't understand is why he's doing this? He cheated on me when we were together through sexting other people and lying to me about it, he has smashed a door down previously and called my family c**ts, he's texted my family to tell them i'm mentally ill and unstable and they need to intervene to help me.
He's got our house which is clearly what he wanted, I don't go there (only to get my things when he's not there) and I don't message him unless he messages me. He's blocked on every platform except email, even his number is blocked from calling me.
I don't understand why he is making this so difficult when i'm just trying to move things forward so we can sell up quicker.