Motivation in 50’s feeling lost

[TheNickster]

I saw a post from 2018 but started a new thread. It’s regarding feeling demotivated in 50’s. I’m honestly lost, put on weight, daughter went to uni and now lives away. My week is go to work come home cook , go to bed. Visit mum in care home at weekend then spend rest of weekend planning lessons for next week. My job is fine , staff and students lovely and I’m all smiles and full of empathy and support then I come home and I’m just - nothing. I’m in thyroxine and have been for ages now and two years ago HRT (wow I actually sleep and don’t get woken up constantly with sweats). My motivation is playing bubble pop on my phone in the evening. I was going running a few times a week and summer holidays came and I thought - great I can go every day. Not been once. Cannot be bothered. I know it’s my fault but I have no purpose. Told my husband and he said let’s get a Starbucks 😂. He’s lovely and I feel guilty because I should be grateful but I’m like a lost soul. Tried joining a gym - it was full of 16 year olds. There was no reception or people to ask how things work , couldn’t work out the programme on the run ing machine so I tried to leave and couldn’t leave coz the qr code wouldn’t scan for the barriers to open. I came out feeling flippin ancient, embarrassed and pointless - not an ego boost. No time for evening classes anyway as I work funny hours. What are we here for when kids have left and we still have a mortgage to pay and 12 years off retirement ?

Take one step at a time op.

First, get that exercise plan going again. A different gym, maybe? You probably already know that the running makes you feel better. Accept that you’ve had a temporary blip and know that you can and will go back into a gym/get running again after this break. Be extra kind to yourself.

Then, you need a plan. Something small (or big) to look forward to. A night away with the hubbie, a meal out, even a hike somewhere lovely. Plan something for every upcoming weekend if you can, even if it’s small.

I really know that feeling you have. I go through phases of it too. Making myself do something each weekend forces me out of it a bit. I’m in my 50s too so maybe it’s hormonal but I feel like everyone around me is feeling a bit meh at the moment too, weirdly. Not sure if it’s our age or if we’re all feeling post Covid, war, climate change etc fatigue. I know that sounds mad but I think all we’re all tired and having a collective wobble.

Start doing some YouTube work outs. There’s some specific over 50’s ones and lots of general ones. I like Team Body Project, and Leslie Sansone for warming up, getting those steps in. Ask friends to meet for meals etc. Check out local social media groups for your town, I joined a ladies walking group that someone set up as there wasn’t one, and it’s been brilliant for meeting more local people. We walk 3 times a week, got a comedy night planned and have lots of plans for the winter. It’s great to have more friends who live on my doorstep, also burning those calories as also trying to lose weight (much harder when you’re Middle Aged like me!) is great. There’s plenty of life left to be lived once kids go to Uni, mine went last year and I do still have another at home but once she goes I’m planning to do that travel I’ve never been able to do, and focus more on me!

Yeah think you’re right. Maybe still getting over difficult times and last year with my mum was really upsetting. Yup, think gonna focus on small things and build x

YouTube - erm no, not for me. But I do have dvd of hip hop abs in garage and used to live doing that 3 times a week. I’ve just got so far out of the habit that I don’t want it anymore. It’s like I’m looking for a carrot to give me purpose and a goal but it’s just not appearing. Thank you for all the suggestions xx