Feeling stuck in my relationship

[Uokhunnn]

Completely new to all this but really hoping someone somewhere will have some advice!

I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and we have our 2 y/o little girl. Things started to fizzle out whilst I was pregnant (which we both totally understood due to all the hormones) but it’s been two years now and I still feel the same.

I don’t feel any sort of physical attraction to him and haven’t since I was pregnant, but lately I feel like things are at an end. My partner tries but honestly it already feels like I’m a single parent, I do pretty much everything on my own and have done since my daughter was born. She was breastfed so he didn’t feed her, he works nights so never did a night shift, and slept through the days. I feel like I want to end things, and I know we’ll both be amicable about it all but I’m just stuck. He has control over everything financial, including my small business. Without going into too much detail, I have no other income and definitely couldn’t survive on my own with my child without his help.

I don’t know where to go from here, where we’d live or anything like that really. I just know I want out of the relationship as it’s starting to take its toll on my mental health. Hoping someone has some, any, advice they can give 🤥

Firstly I’d get child benefit paid into your own account. Open one online if you haven’t got one.
Then you need to think about income as you’re going to have to work, or get a consistent income from your business. So I’d look at getting a job and getting the little one in nursery.
Do you own or rent ?

I think your first step is to have a conversation with him about how you feel. It's a major change having a baby, and even 2yrs on, that'll still be having an impact. It's common for relationships to become more like coparents/roommates than passionate relationships, and we set ourselves unrealistic expectations sometimes. If he's let himself go, doesn't seem to have the same charm etc, he could well be suffering in silence as well.

Talk to him, be transparent, and if there isn't anything there, tell him and be patient so you can separate amicably. He doesn't sound like he'd be nasty at first glance.