Driving home today (DH is driver), my son says at the back of the car that my youngest (toddler) car seat is moving. Luckily we were nearly home and when we got out it was tilted and had moved. Clearly the seat hadn't been put back in properly. My husband had put it in. I am annoyed and upset about the fact he could have been driving like this for a few weeks with her in that seat and what could have happened. He refused to take responsibility and kept saying it was tight when he put it in and that my sibling is at fault as my sibling taught him how to do it. I explain its not her responsibility it's ours. He still doesn't agree and I say I don't feel comfortable him driving us to our holiday destination tomorrow as he clearly doesn't know how to put it in properly and we've lost the instructions so neither do I!I go upstairs and he comes up and asks to talk. I agree and say that it's annoyed me he's blamed my sibling for his mistake and I then say 'I'm also concerned', he heard that said he didn't want to talk to me and stormed out. I told him if we couldn't resolve it then he can tell the kids we aren't going because I'm not. At the dinner table, one child mentions being excited about the holiday. I say well I'm not sure if we are going yet as we haven't sorted the car seat situation out and that I'd have liked to discussed it but haven't been able to. Probably shouldn't have said that part but did and then DH proceeds to say we can now talk. I said no because we were with the kids and it's not appropriate and it always goes this way, he shuts me down then when he's ready suddenly we can talk and I have to listen. He then does this thing where he's now the calm one and I'm wrong and when I get irritated and raise my voice because I know and he knows what he's doing, he remains calm and I look like the idiot. I walked out the room as it was winding me up and then my eldest comes upstairs and tells me it's not his dads fault and blames my sibling too! My middle child is now crying because he thinks it's his fault and because we probably won't be going on holiday, I'm upset and meanwhile DH is downstairs calm as anything, not taking any blame and letting this all go on. After over an hour he finally takes responsibility, says he didn't want eldest to defend him and that he apologises but this is a every week thing that he does this and his sorry has lost all meaning as he never changes. I said to him he knows what game he's playing trying to make me look like the bad one despite knowing he was doing things to rile me and he just says he hasn't got time to play games and I'm wrong. I don't feel like going away now but feel obliged to because of the kids and we still haven't sorted the car seat. Is this all my fault or is he?