What to do about ex harassing me

[MoroccoMole]

So....where to start.

Split with Ex in January, ex was emotional abusive towards me and turned physical when we split leading to him being arrested and removed from the home.

He has had issues with drugs and alcohol for years, he had a mental health breakdown and got ordered to do drug & alcohol therapy. He's been much better, we've been able to communicate civilly about the children and I thought it was all going well.

He recently finished this "therapy" and has since bombarded me and my friends with abusive messages whilst drunk. Calling me all sorts of disgusting names, making me out to be a bad parent. He takes photos of my house when he is there with the children (I work evenings and occasionally he will come over to feed the kids dinner. They are teens) he takes these photos and threatens to call the social as I "live in filth" which I don't.

I know I can block him from my phone, but I feel I need to keep it going so as if I ever need the police again I'll have proof of his threats and harassment. But how do I stop him coming in my house? It's not fair to tell the kids not to let him in and I'm feeling so uncomfortable with having him in my space, going through my things and taking fucking photos!!!

If anyone has been in this situation or has any bright ideas please let me know

Call the police and give them the evidence - they should visit him and advise him to stay away - STOP letting him come in YOUR safe space - and if he doesn't comply, report him again, and again - etc. It very much CAN work.

Injunction order, it will get worse.What do the kids think of this and his abusive behaviour?

The kids don't know he's been messaging etc, so as far as they are aware everything is fine and "normal"

I don’t think you should continue to allow him in the house. He’s drunk and angry. It’s not helping the children. It’s a healthy boundary to set, actually.

Police and non-molestation order. He can arrange contact through a contact centre. And DO NOT go to mediation with an abusive ex.

Honestly I doubt it. He’s not able to control himself. As a child, I didn’t tell my mom things about my dad or vice versa.

Gracies law UK....please speak to the police

This and change the locks and install cctv

OP i know this was a few months ago but did you get anything sorted?

Im going through the same with my ex taking photos etc, I even caught him staging a mess in the bathroom and taking photos of it :(

@MoroccoMole why the hell are you letting him into your house in the first place?????

They are teenagers and as such are well capable of feeding themselves, it's an excuse to come over. Change the locks and keep him out, then he won't be sending you pics.

Stop letting him in house.
No reason fir him to be in your house.
tell dc they can go to his.
Block him

Dc can message him directly if teens

Why is he in your house?

Tell the teens you don't want him in the house.. problem solved. Then save the messages you have so far and block him.

Your teenage children should know (not in every detail) that there are reasons why their father is no longer allowed in your home. I know you're trying to protect them, but your ex has put you in an impossible position. Something has to be done to guarantee your safety.
If they can't stop themselves from answering the door and letting him in, then another adult needs to be present while you're at work, or they need to be staying elsewhere.

This. I'd even show them some examples of the messages so they know you're not lying.

I don't know what people feel the need to cover up bad behaviour. I understand kids shouldn't be dragged into adult situations but they absolutely need to know why you don't want him in your home. You have every right to have that boundary. Your home should be a safe space.

Change the locks and get a ring door bell. Report him to the police and keep a record of all abuse.