Finally found a wonderful man... and realised I'm lesbian - HELP

[CoconutMirror]

HELP 😭

I'll try keep this brief, I've always identified as bisexual but due to living in a small town, there isn't much of a queer scene, I've never actually met any lesbians lmao!
So I've always dated men by default, I'm a single parent and have been for many years, very content with work,life,family and friend relationships, and was never looking for a romantic relationship.

6 months ago I reconnected with and old friend who set me up with a single guy who she kept praising, so I reluctantly agreed to go on the date and he really is the most wonderful man, caring, thoughtful, he met my kid a couple of months ago and they get on really well, he's got a great job - he's basically a walking green flag.

Lately, I've been questioning my sexuality quite a lot for various reasons and then I read the lesbian masterdoc - which confirmed everything I already knew - I'm definitely a lesbian.

HOW on earth do I break this man's heart?? I'm going to hurt my kid, him, the relationships I've built with his family and friends.

I know this is probably quite a niche problem but any advice would be so appreciated right now!!

p.s. please be kind - if you have negative opinions about people in the LGBTQ+ community then this probably isn't the question for you to advise on 🙏

Well, it's only been 6 months - lots of burgeoning relationships don't make it. Maybe he'd be open to friendship once the initial hurt calms.

Just be honest. In this case it's really isn't him, it's you 😃

Having recently found out that my husband is gay I can speak from your partners side and say that I think he would much rather know now than if you string him along, especially now that you’re aware of your feelings.
The worst part for me was/is the dishonesty and lies. If you’re honest it’s quite possible that you’ll still have him in your life as a friend. And it won’t change you as a parent so you kid will be fine.

You don't have to explain. You can just say that it's not right for you. Everyone will get over it.

There's no need to out yourself to him if you don't want to, just end things as simply and kindly as you can manage. And maybe have a think about why you're so enmeshed in a relationship of only 6 months... introducing your child, etc? Breaking his heart?

Ps, what's the lesbian masterdoc? Never heard of it when I came out.

Thanks everyone.

I know being honest with him as soon as possible is the very least he deserves, he's so hopeful for our future together and such a great person, so I'm just feeling guilty about having to do this to him.

@BiologicalKitty I think I'd rather be truthful because I would like him in my life going forward as a friend. And it honestly just felt right to introduce him to my child in that moment- trust me I was always the one who'd be saying "don't introduce the children until at least a year!!" but real life is always different to what you thought i guess 😂 have a Google of it, it's basically a pdf that helps if you're questioning 👌 not sure if I'm allowed to post links here x

It's only been 6 months, he'll he'll fine. Shouldn't take more than a weekend for your kid to get over it either.

'Hey so, bad news, turns out I'm gay. Completely gay. Full on rainbow flag gay. I'm sorry, its only recently clicked for me. So unfortunately we're going to have to part ways'.

@Pinkbonbon I don't think I'd like to be quite that blunt about it but I get the jist lol