how did you decide to leave your husband?

[newmummy27]

i am in a dilema have been for years on and off. what made you finally decide enough is enough?

poor thing.

by not saying anytghing you're jsut going to feel worse and worse though - and it'll build up and build up.

do you get any time alone without the dcs when you could talk about it? it doesn't have to be hurtful, you just need to start with saying that you love him and you want to grow old together (do you?), but you've been feeling more and more exhausted and put apon and unhappy and need his help to get back to where you used to be (if that is what you want) I know it all looks simple on the page and will be crappy in real life you just need to shoulder the responsibility for the way that you feel and not blame him for how you feel if you get my drift. some of his actions may well contribute towards you feeling unhappy, but he doesn't need to know that at the start.

sports car? can't fit all the dc's in! no point! ;)

I left my partner when ~~I realised my mother was begging me to.

I felt I wasn't allowed to before that. I was pg and needed the support tbh.

I felt like I wasn't myself for a long time and knew I'd fallen out of love with him several years before. I felt there was really no love between us and we didn't speak for weeks on end and no sexual contact for over a year. I never thought I could be so lonely and unhappy within a relationship.

The final straw was when he booked a holiday to south africa for himself over new year without telling me.

He is now looking for somewhere else to stay and agreed that we let things go on for too long but it's too late to rectify.

i tried to tell him for years it was going wrong, but the final straw was when he went out one morning and didnt come back as planned, but went to the pub and got drunk, then drove drunk to get the kids from school

i waited until we went to our next relate session the next day and screamed at him that i had had enough and wanted him to go

he got up and left the session early , but the next day it was like nothing had happened

i went on holiday shortly after and he hacked into my email and read something, thought i was having an affair, so i let him believe that to make him realise it was over

Newmummy27, go and speak to your gp, pet. There's plenty of time to make your mind up when you are feeling better and stronger.
Little babies and big decisions don't really go together, the first year with a baby is about quiet desperation, really. Just concentrate on looking after yourself, and try to focus on OH's good points. And remember that very tired partners often seem like complete bastards... but they aren't, not really.

I'm just trying to say don't judge your relationship by how you feel just now, it's a false result.

Am leaving because of his addiction to chatlines.

talkingmongoose
i know what you are saying i really do, but the way things are i feel i cant make any plans for the future. he isnt making the effort, he feels he cant communicate, i am the driver to do thigs all of the time, he just goes along with it. i am sick to the back teeth of it and as usual his excuse... he has been at work all day..... he never comes in happy and says lets do this, or that, it is so quiet in the house sometimes i feel like i am hearing things (i do know i am not)i dont really want to spend time with him, he isnt interesting

sounds like he might be depressed too?

Jusy don't rush into anything. Divorce is crap, nobody wins.

thanks i know, he is going to have to do something to help himself, i cant do everything for him