Suspious cheating and pregnant?

[user1484036090]

Mothers day this year, I had a phone call from a girl saying she had been seeing my partner 18 months ago and although not physical between them anymore, they would still message and talk all the time.
We managed to get over this and decided to put the past in the past and move forward for our DC 8,7 and 6
Found out 5 weeks ago I'm pregnant with our 4th and both really happy, although I thought.
The day in question I was poorly on the sofa with a sickness bug/morning sickness, my partner told me he was going to go get a switch game from his friends house that he had left, a few days later this same girl called me asking if we are still together because he came to see her to get the game ans they slept together!
I was in complete shock and woke him up straight away, he admitted to getting the game but not that they slept together.
She seems a bit spiteful so don't know if was just saying it too cause an issue because she wants to be with him.
Fast forward a few days ago, I was in my town and she came up to speak to me! Told me that actually that day in question after he collected the game from her they actually went out bowling and to a hotel together.
I once again confronted him, and his reaction was that he can't take this anymore and we should just end!
We had a few okay days for the children until I told him I have spoken to the hotel to get cctv footage to clear his name, although he never really denied it was him.
His reaction of ending things and saying he doesn't want this or this baby anymore makes me think he's guilty.
We had a blazing row yesterday and I made him take all his clothes.
Surely only a guilty person will end things when they have been caught otherwise why not clear your name and prove she is lying about the hotel?

There is also a few coincidences about that day because he did go out all day and stayed out all nights as he was apparently getting the car fixed at his friends house, and instead of driving home late stayed at his sisters empty house

I really don't know what to do, is he guilty?

Well it certainly sounds like it.

I’m so sorry but the ‘coincidences’ aren’t coincidences the fact that everything she’s saying could potentially be true, and the fact tinning and absence from the family home, would say to me it is.

He is a faithless, nasty, gas lighting cheat.

He's thinking anger and gaslighting will get you back in your box. Don’t fall for it.

When he realises that’s not working the waterworks will start, it was only once, she means nothing to me etc etc will start.

He will do anything to manipulate you into behaving and not questioning his actions.

You now need some self care, please look after yourself and I hate to say but make sure you are checked for STIs.

You and your children deserve better.

I’m sorry but either way he’s done something. yes the girl may be spiteful over things but maybe you need to ask yourself why? Why would she be continuing to tell you all of this if it had ended? He’s obviously promised her a life together and then hurt her. He’s then going to have his fun there and she’s believing it’s over with you.

It’s easy for people online to say get rid and leave him but it’s not as simple when it’s your life and you have a family together. Only thing I will say is you were so strong to move past it last time for the sake of your marriage and children. You put that all first and tried to keep the marriage strong, strong enough to have another baby and be happy. He has not been as committed and hasn’t been fighting for your family and marriage as much as you have. At this point he is using you both and the other woman is stupid enough to believe him every time.

Of course he is guilty. There is no going back from this.

Certainly sounds guilty. Surely no hotel is going to dig out security footage to prove someone is or isn’t having an affair?

He can't prove to you that he hasn't cheated. That doesn't mean he has but the circumstantial evidence is not good.

Sadly, there are four children in all this and whatever you decide to do, you and him must try and agree that they children come first.

How has this woman hit your phone number?

He's definitely guilty and she's hoping you get rid so she can get with him

Of course he's guilty. You don't need proof. How would she know he went to to pick up the DS game if it wasn't her he got it from? Why did she have the game in the 1st place? He's obviously still been seeing her. He wouldn't have left the game with her for nearly 2 years. It doesn't matter if they went for a meal and to a hotel or whatever. He's a liar and a cheat. You need to decide what you want to do with that information but stop causing yourself unnecessary stress by trying to 'prove' what did or didn't happen.

I know it's not as easy as LTB in this situation but the truth is you will never trust him. Every time he leaves the house you'll be checking where he's going, who he's with what he's doing. It's no way to live and after the initial pain of separation you'll feel so much better.

Of course he is love. You deserve better:

How did she know he stayed out all night? Also, how would she know about the computer game?

And why was the game at her house in the first place? He had clearly been there shortly before the day in question to have left it there. What was his explanation for this?

Theres no way she would know he had stayed out all night or anything about a computer game unless they had been back in contact. Sorry OP, I think it sounds like he's been cheating again.

I found a note in his work truck about 3 years ago, I messaged the number but they never responsened,
I confronted him and he said oh it must belong to the bloke who had the work truck before him, it never really convinced me, but for the kids just put it behind me and had no evidence really

So yeah he use to take our family switch because whenever he did go and see her when they were first havubg the affair, he said he was taking it round his mates house,
He has admitted he lied about the game and he did get it from her, but isnt really admitting or denying he slept with her or went to a hotel that evening with her.

He just got angry I was listening to her, and told me it was over and didn't want this anymore

GUILTY

Hotels do not give out CCTV footage like that. They don’t even confirm whether a person’s spouse is staying in the hotel or not. It would be a security risk and it’s not their responsibility to police guests relationships.