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Original poster

Has a man lied to you about having a girlfriend before

35 replies

catwhiskers8 · 19/08/2023 23:10

I seen a thread about it the other day or week and now it’s happened to me.

is it that common ? 😳 if so, what happened

OP posts:
Lavendarsoap1234 · 19/08/2023 23:16

He "forgot" to tell me he has one after pretending to me my best friend for a whole year.

Original poster
catwhiskers8 · 19/08/2023 23:41

@Lavendarsoap1234 how did you find out?

OP posts:
truthhurts23 · 19/08/2023 23:50

yes. he was my FWB , he answered the phone to talk to her right in front of me,
I jokingly said who is that your girlfriend? and he said yeah
I wasn't mad , I was just surprised, slightly disgusted
that was last time I ever saw or spoke to him, had a hot bath that night and went to the clinic the next day

RuffledKestrel · 19/08/2023 23:51

Yup. Pretty sure they are the guys who cannot cope without being in a relationship, and that's how they jump from one to the next.

Original poster
catwhiskers8 · 20/08/2023 00:03

it’s happened to me for the first time and I think it’s insulted me quite a bit. I’ve never actually dealt with it in my 30 years until now and it’s bizarre! I can’t get my head around it

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 20/08/2023 00:04

Everytime I've had a Holiday romance

Champagneponies · 20/08/2023 00:06

@catwhiskers8 how did you find out? Are you going to tell the gf?

Original poster
catwhiskers8 · 20/08/2023 00:09

@Champagneponies stumbled across a profile that had tagged photos by chance and basically did my usual FBI stalking 😂 and finally found her

it’s only been texting so I won’t as I haven’t actually met up with him. I blocked him days ago but it’s been playing on my mind - and I started to question if I came across like someone who would go for that type of thing, which is why I wanted to ask if it’s happened to anyone else, cause I feel like it’s just me and my luck!

OP posts:
TheWayoftheLeaf · 20/08/2023 00:18

truthhurts23 · 19/08/2023 23:50

yes. he was my FWB , he answered the phone to talk to her right in front of me,
I jokingly said who is that your girlfriend? and he said yeah
I wasn't mad , I was just surprised, slightly disgusted
that was last time I ever saw or spoke to him, had a hot bath that night and went to the clinic the next day

Why would him cheating mean you're more likely to have an STD? You were having casual sex... should've been getting tested anyway

FlamingYam · 20/08/2023 00:29

Find me a girl who hasn't!

I was young, 17 I think. I was a waitress and he was a customer. He began to come in every night to see me which evolved into him taking me home and even came to a family party and met my mum. He held my hand all night and told everyone how lovely I was.

Would have been a few months in and a colleague asked why he was waiting for me and I said he was my bf. She told me her friend was his gf and I asked him on the journey home that night. Turned out we had very different ideas as to what was going on. My friend at work told the gf as it was before fb and I didn't know her.

I learnt a lot from that experience. I wasn't upset but was more shocked/surprised. He was the first so always remember that but I know there have been others since.

Pinkbonbon · 20/08/2023 00:39

At least twice.

One answered a call from her on our second date. I happened to overhear and went down the social media search rabbit hole. Found him out. So there wasnt a 3rd date.

Other guy I'm not sure if it was a gf or he was seeing several other women. Only cottoned on after a couple of months though.

truthhurts23 · 20/08/2023 01:12

TheWayoftheLeaf · 20/08/2023 00:18

Why would him cheating mean you're more likely to have an STD? You were having casual sex... should've been getting tested anyway

Show quote history

should've been getting tested anyway
he told me I was the only one he was sleeping with at the time so I wasn't running to the clinic after every encounter
when he told me had a girlfriend , that's when I worried he could be sleeping with more people, besides me and his gf
he was a dog

BananaSlug · 20/08/2023 01:18

Yes not sure why you would think its unusual how else do men cheat? Most women they cheat with will have no idea! I didn't tell his gf but did end things when I found out.

BananaSlug · 20/08/2023 01:19

truthhurts23 · 20/08/2023 01:12

should've been getting tested anyway
he told me I was the only one he was sleeping with at the time so I wasn't running to the clinic after every encounter
when he told me had a girlfriend , that's when I worried he could be sleeping with more people, besides me and his gf
he was a dog

Show quote history

I thought the whole point of fwb is so that you could sleep with other people no commitments/ not exclusive?

truthhurts23 · 20/08/2023 01:25

BananaSlug · 20/08/2023 01:19

I thought the whole point of fwb is so that you could sleep with other people no commitments/ not exclusive?

Show quote history

I guess.. but really its just sleeping together but not committing , and also you're not allowed to sleep with anyone else 😂

BananaSlug · 20/08/2023 01:32

Isn't that just a relationship then 🤔

RantyAnty · 20/08/2023 01:44

Yes, men lie to get sex.

Lavendarsoap1234 · 20/08/2023 05:53

catwhiskers8 · 19/08/2023 23:41

@Lavendarsoap1234 how did you find out?

Someone randomly asked him in a gathering. He let it out with great difficulty. he played the "you never asked" card

Buildingthefuture · 20/08/2023 05:56

Not knowingly, but judging by the amount of people who lie about this kind of thing, probably, I just never found out!

C1N1C · 20/08/2023 07:46

truthhurts23 · 20/08/2023 01:25

I guess.. but really its just sleeping together but not committing , and also you're not allowed to sleep with anyone else 😂

Show quote history

lol, love that

The point of a relationship is for him to be committed to you, but you do t want him to be committed to you so you start a fwb 'relationshio' in which youwant him to be committed to you but, not committed.

Bonfire23 · 20/08/2023 10:06

Yep. Was with him for 10 months. Turned out he was engaged and they had been together a decade

LavenderInTheField · 20/08/2023 10:51

Yes, too many people take men on face value. Do your due diligence before you get in a mess.

The explicit question is "Is there anyone who may be under the impression they are in a relationship with you or they are your girlfriend?". So even if he apparently has some amnesia/denial about being in a relationship he hopefully can't wriggle out of that one so easily.

However if you look closely, or after your first encounter with a liar, you can spot signs...times of day they won't talk to you...hiding their phone if they are with you so notifications from their gf doesn't show up...you haven't met any of their close friends, or just the friend that will lie for them...the housemate looks a bit confused when you are there....and never underestimate the gut feeling, it is often not wrong.

Bonfire23 · 20/08/2023 12:08

LavenderInTheField · 20/08/2023 10:51

Yes, too many people take men on face value. Do your due diligence before you get in a mess.

The explicit question is "Is there anyone who may be under the impression they are in a relationship with you or they are your girlfriend?". So even if he apparently has some amnesia/denial about being in a relationship he hopefully can't wriggle out of that one so easily.

However if you look closely, or after your first encounter with a liar, you can spot signs...times of day they won't talk to you...hiding their phone if they are with you so notifications from their gf doesn't show up...you haven't met any of their close friends, or just the friend that will lie for them...the housemate looks a bit confused when you are there....and never underestimate the gut feeling, it is often not wrong.

The guy I was with never hid his phone. I met his friends, his colleagues, he met my dad
I didn't have a clue and I'm naturally suspicious
He called her his ex and talked about when he had his child, getting a babysitter...

WorseDecision · 20/08/2023 12:11

Nope, never happened to me.

I had a ex pretend they were still together though, turns out they had spilt up two years prior after confirming with his friends & another ex of his, that was a bit bizarre.

HundredMilesAnHour · 20/08/2023 12:19

Yes. I'd been seeing him for a few months when I found out he had a serious girlfriend who was studying abroad for a year. Men are dogs, they really are.

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