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Original poster

Neighbours barking dog vs My screaming toddler

13 replies

Katlow · 19/08/2023 21:17

So new neighbours moved in yesterday, I'm keen to have a good relationship as we were good friends with our old ones.

Its become apparent tonight that they have a very yappy dog that loses its shit when they leave the house. Its been going for about 2 hours now.

So usually I'd just wait until I bump into them (not seen them yet) and mention it quite gently and in a light-hearted way to begin with. But the issue is, is I have an autistic 2 year old who has frequent (LOUD) meltdowns. He goes to nursery full time so these will be between the hours of 6-8am and 4:30-7pm.
I'd say he has one every 2 days that lasts around 20 mins to 30 mins.

I'm thinking do I even have a leg to stand on with mentioning the barking dog when my toddler is probably just as annoying to them? Is it just because this is a new house to the dog and chances are it'll settle down?

I can see it potentially driving me mad but my screaming child will probably drive her just as mad.

OP posts:
Scienceadvisory · 19/08/2023 21:23

I would mention it because of the dog's welfare. They may not know it gets so distressed when they leave and they need to get some support with that.

Although I would also hate it if I was being woken between 6 and 8 every other day. So your child's noise probably will drive them mad.

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 19/08/2023 21:25

There's a lot to be said for a littel give-and-take. Loud and annoying as our neighbours on one side can be, we've never complained directly or reported them because we have no idea how much they hear of the noise that our autistic son can generate. When I'm trimming his nails, he can scream like he's being tortured! When he's out in the garden, he always has a toddler toy or three playing tunes (which over the years we have learned to ignore).

You are noticing the dog yapping because it's a new noise. The dog has just moved house and is likely to be disoriented. I'd give them a week or so to settle in/down, and then reconsider your options.

WhateverMate · 19/08/2023 21:27

Do mention it in cheerful conversation because they might have no idea.

Original poster
Katlow · 19/08/2023 21:33

We did actually meet her before she bought the house as they knocked on to ask us some questions, seemed really nice and we invited her to have a look around the back garden (as that was their concern with it being on an incline, worried about water drainage). I think I'm going to leave it a week or so as suggested but would you mention the noise from our side as well? Eg,
"Sorry if you can hear our toddler, we didn't realise how thin the walls were. We've heard your dog while you've been out, does he have seperation anxiety?" Does that sound snarky? I am very aware of the noise from our side, it's jarring to me most of the time too! But am I inviting criticism by mentioning it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Katlow · 19/08/2023 21:36

Also when we met her before she bought we mentioned the noise of our child and she said she wouldn't mind as she has people round sometimes and has an older child. It was all very civil and nice!

OP posts:
category12 · 19/08/2023 22:00

Yeah, I'd mention it to them in a not complaining about the noise kind of way but a welfare kind of way, if that's possible.

NoBiscuitsLeftInMyTin · 19/08/2023 22:12

The neighbours have only just moved in, the house is new to the dog as well and might well calm down over the next few days.

lucya66 · 19/08/2023 22:16

Don’t mention the dog yet. It could not go down well so soon. Give it a couple of weeks and if it’s still happening, mention then.

Grumpusaurus · 20/08/2023 12:15

With your child's noises, you should be grateful to have understanding neighbours. Mentioning the dog barking would be a very idiotic move. Suck it up - just like your neighbours have to put up with your situation.

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/08/2023 12:28

They have just moved in, give it time.

category12 · 20/08/2023 12:29

I dunno, I think I'd want to know if my dog was barking all day when alone - is it distressed? Maybe they need a doggy-cam.

Zanatdy · 20/08/2023 12:55

They’ve just moved it. It will be unsettled. Give it a few days and pop a note round as they might not know or just knock

Nanny0gg · 20/08/2023 13:34

Katlow · 19/08/2023 21:36

Also when we met her before she bought we mentioned the noise of our child and she said she wouldn't mind as she has people round sometimes and has an older child. It was all very civil and nice!

I'd pre-empt

I'd explain (not apologise) for what they might hear with your toddler from time to time and say that you'll be on it and you'll quieten them as soon as you can

Then I'd enquire about the dog - is it struggling to settle somewhere new? Does it suffer from separation anxiety as it does bark for a while when they leave it

Then see what reaction you get

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